Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Are those terms of Endearment I hear?

So the other day I get a text from Tyler "Hey baby hows your day?"  HUH?? I read it twice.. I was ready to leave where I was and  go unite myself with him!!! lol.  Then he continues throughout the week calling me babe, sweetheart,  I'm wondering what this man did with my husband LOL!!!

Now i have always called Tyler Honey never by his first name .. I started it when we were dating.
Now the only words of endearment that have came out of his mouth over the year well were ummm I don't think words of endearment more like words of impeachment lol!!!..

Anyway amazing how being kind and honoring your husband makes him love you more and appreciate you more. When we started TTWD I didn't know what it would do to our lives.. Really i think me totally surrendering to God and loving God has helped.. I don't just submit to my husband because i don't want to be spanked. I submit because to make God happy i have to do what his word has said to do..

 I know Tyler isn't gonna be perfect nor am I. I do believe that we both have committed ourselves 100% to this marriage and loving each other..  This year for Christmas  got him something he would never know. I put thought into and that has rarely happened. Anyway I just wanted to share a Little bit on how TTWD is working for us and how we are doing..

God Bless..

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


So this is the prime example as to why everything you Hoh's Pick up is NOT for spanking.  It made me turn maintenance into discipline. I Know Tyler says I did it but I say he did it.. It wasn't fair I tell ya!!! LOL.. 

Ok Tyler bought this particle board or fake wood stuff for trim on the floor in the door way. It was about 2ft long and in plastic.. (OK i think you all understand what it is.) Ok so its bed time and we were upstairs. He was playing around with our  oldest lightly smacking him with this thing..

 Well I have sweats and a robe on. We walk in our bedroom and he starts swatting me with it. I thought he was playing at first. They were light swats and OK I'm still fully dressed with robe on. I kept  saying stop and putting my hand back there I was afraid he was gonna get my back. He kept saying be still and move your hand. I wasn't listening when I finally realized he wasn't playing it was to late. I was now in discipline the swats were coming in hard. YUP  I quickly realized that he was NOT playing.. Maintenance swats were over and these swats were coming down hard about to bring me in tears. Yes when I realized he wasn't playing I stopped. and assumed my position on the treasure chest .

When I know that its really maintenance or discipline  I never put my hand back there. I do say stop but I don't know where my mind is at that time lol..  I had no idea he was being serious!!!! HIJACKED I TELL YA!!!

Afterwards I said "That  was not fair you Hijacked me and that hurt!!" ( I know spankings are supposed to hurt but maintenance doesn't hurt like discipline does.)  He says "Next time you will listen huh? and be still. He said I wasn't gonna get your back."  I said "I was fully dressed you always do bare bottom." He said "I was trying to just be light since you have been good lately. but you ruined that." 

 O MAN!!! Lesson learned when there is nothing to learn.

Here's a Note to self and all my spanko gals:
When Your HOH says 3 or 4x to stop He's not playing!!!  (Ok so some of you may have already known that but I'm a blonde and apparently slow learner in the Tweed world)!!!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I can't, I can't, I JUST CAN'T!!!!

O i don't know where to begin. I know its been a week since I've blogged and I've needed to blog last week and every time I started to blog I had nothing to say!! ( I know a speechless woman?? I know and because its me who would have thought??) Anway

The last week or so feels like its been out of control!!! We were doing good on this road of TTWD (Or now I think its called Tweed in B'Mans words lol)..  We were just putting along. The spankings were coming the maintenance was coming ( I think this is what SugarAnne calls BS!!! lol) ( OK OK Yeah i read there blogs ALOT)))!!!! Anyway  things starting crashing when my mouth started running ( GASP you say a womans mouth runs??) Well apparently Tyler forgot that women have mouths that run freely at times.  Well He says I was spending to much time on the Internet blogging... OF course I have to argue the fact that i'm not blogging I'm reading. Blogging is when I write something and I hadn't been writing I been reading. Tyler seems to think that blogging is blogging and reading is blogging!!! OK OK Blind rod made its point. Blogging= reading and posting GOT IT


So then were to this little thing called my freely running mouth again!!! So my oldest son that i like to call my trial and error (Which my trial and error is a pretty good kid) Ok trial and error has a free  running mouth too. I Have no idea where it came from hmmm?? Where o where ok.. Anyway back on track here. So  I butted in a few times and that really pissed Tyler off.. Ok in my defense I thought if I wasn't yelling it would be ok to but in if I said "Honey (In my sweet voice) thats not what he meant and no he doesnt." Well apparently it doesnt matter which way you butt in butting in is butting in. Well Tyler freely ran his mouth and said a few things that hurt not verbally abuse just swearing and yelling at me OUCH!!! Well i spent a week having poor me syndrome. Yes he let me know Poor me OUCH!!! again. Sooo it was really bad by Friday but my bro-in law (Sisters husband) had open heart surgery and I had all there grandkids here so the kids could be at the hospital. so no time for discipline or maintenance. 

The weekend got worse felt like my marriage was going back to the old NOOOOOOOOO!!! I felt so distant from him.. OOO its that darn poor me. Well Finally monday We settled down i got my maintenance and he made a VERYYYY Good point about EVERYTHING with the STICK!! and all seems to be floating a little better!! Over the last week I have learned.. Ok are you listening girls because this is good lessons and once again I'll take one for the Spanko Team!!! lol

Lessons learned:
1)Blogging is posting and reading
2) Butting in is NOT just yelling its talking nicely too
3)Interrupting your HOH when he is trying to talk especially when you got the look and the HUSH not such a good idea..

Now that's all fixed but now I have big anxiety..

I have to go back to work and I CAN"T I DON"T WANT TO I'm scared I haven't worked in over a year!!! I don't think i can be a submissive wife, Good mom, keep a clean house and work.

MY van is already a mess, I havent written anythng down and all i wanna do is crawl into bed I'm soo depressed.. Someone told me to ask for a distress spanking... Yup think I'll ask for something a little nicer :) maybe that will help...

So anyway theres my spill!!!

Please pray for me and the smoking thing SUCKING TOO!!! UGH I'm not doing well at it.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Induging in Self Pitty

These last few weeks have been rather busy and frustrating for me. I sit down to blog and everytime I do I just can't. I dont know what to say (I know a woman Especially me with nothing to say seems very odd lol)..
It seems that when i can't blog I go read someone elses blog  and each time they are talking about how TTWD or Tweed (As it seems everyones favorite word. Call it a new Trend that B'Man started lol) is not easy it doesnt solve everything. They talk about how marriage is alot of work and Tweed adds a little spice to it. Tweed can be some work in itself. I really feel like I'm indulging in self-pitty that I'm trying to do everything I can to be submissive it just seems to be getting hard these days.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Breaking a woman of wanting things her way is NOT easy!!!

I'm sitting here thinking after the incident last night where it didn't seem he cared that i wasn't writing things down. I feel i cared more. Well after one incident of him not being real consistent in like a month I'm done lol... I was sitting here thinking. Forget it. Were quitting dd I'm tired of it he doesn't take it serious. He's not doing things the right way. I'm trying hard and he's not. O were just waisting our time.. I mean I was really serious. I was in full pout mode just DONE!!! cant do it right so were done!!! lol. All because things didn't go the way I thought they should!! O BOY!! He has been taking it serious but ONE time he doesn't.  (I need a spanking for acting like this lol)

Then i was like what? You want him to lead you but you want him to do it the right way and to you the right way is YOUR WAY!!! lol. that is funny.  Ok so basically its like discipline me but do it the way I want you too!!! hahaha!!!  I always have to have control somewhere.

You know i really got to thinking though maybe he just feels like well she is trying really hard at everything else I'm just gonna let this go. To me I want him to hold me accountable but if he does he does. I think i just need to try hard at continuing to write things down and watch my smoking. If i don't do those things then one day he's gonna ask other than on Friday and I might either be in trouble or surprise him and make him happy that I'm trying to do something on our own.

I think when were in this Journey sometimes us women want to be held accountable for everything to make us do it and sometimes maybe our HOHS want to give us that little freedom to make a few little choices on our own..  Hmmm maybe?  What about it HOHS do you like us to just do it on our own because you know we can at times?


This Journey is Challenging

Well I don't know where to start.. I love our lifestyle. I love making him happy.. Sometimes its hard on me.. He has come along way and we are only 3 months in it and I realize hes further than some men  at 3 month who's wife bring them on this journey.  I'm very submissive for the most part ( i think he would agree).. I don't yell. I dont really argue I try to over discuss sometimes but I take hints and looks.. Its not because I'm scared of the spankings (ok a little) but i don want t disappoint him..

I work hard at doing what he asks me to do 
Keep the house descent
Cook more than not but not every night ( I am gone Mon-Thursday for classes)
keep my van clean and don't dirty his car when I use it.
Keeping my van clean is probably like Tammy letting her diet coke freeze but I like the rule it helps me to be a neater person.
Tyler doesn't ask me to do anything he doesn't do so  it all seems fine to me and even if it didn't I would still submit.

Now we are coming to 2 frivolous tasks.. One thing I am supposed to write down everything I spend money on.. Now Last week i did great this week I haven't written anything down since Friday.  I journaled about this Sunday and Monday telling him I don't know why I don't do it. I think the bottom line is this:
I've asked him to ask me nightly if I have written everything down and if I haven't to take care of it that night.
I want the reminder. But he doesn't take it serious to me and I guess I am not either (I know everyone says seems like a easy task well Gotta rebel somewhere right? As I'm not perfect and when your always in a hurry its not easy.. So I journaled on Sunday and Monday about not doing this and that I needed a good reminder. I showed it to him Monday so he could read it before Maintenance..

Well we had maintenance and he added some extra swats for not writing it down but it wasn't what I had in mind (I know not my way HIS way i got it lol). I been having problems that I'm not feeling it much lately afterwards my bottom is tolerating it better I guess. Well he didn't have me pull my pants down I was laying down on the bed and he swatted me with the Blind Rod I felt it threw my sweats and I feel it today but I would've felt more on bare bottom (We always do bare bottom) It just all felt like a joke to him I don't know.

Maybe it is because I'm submissive and he sees the great change in me so this isn't a big deal to him I don't know. I'm not worried to much about it. We will see what happens Friday as I am smoking to much unless I slow wayyy down now I'm gonna smoke to many packs by Friday.  I know its a challenge for us all. I know he worries about hurting me and being to hard on me. I do tell him I want him to be hard as he thinks he should be.

Hes used to the old me that would get mad at him and tell him he's to bossy but that's not me.

I guess If he wasn't worried about these things then he wouldn't be the wonderful HOH that he is. If it didn't bother him to hurt me or upset me than we would have other issues.  I am very much in love with him and no this lifestyle is what we need and want..

Thanks for listening to me go on and on..

Friday, December 3, 2010

This stranger is my husband?

There used to be a stranger in my house. Who was he?  My children called him dad. He slept in my bed. He was at my house every day.  He tried to hug me and kiss me. He told me he loved me I said it back I often wondered did I love this stranger?  Who was this stranger and why was he always around?... One day I realized I wanted to know who this stranger was.. I started talking to him. I started hugging him, saying I love you and mean it.  It seemed this stranger was feeling a void of loneliness I had for so many years..I then realized O wait that stranger is my husband of 14yrs!!!

My kids no longer call a stranger dad.  A stranger no longer sleeps in my bed.. There is no longer a stranger at my house everyday.. There is no longer a stranger trying to hug and kiss me, saying I love you and getting a half I love you back..  My HUSBAND IS HERE!!! I embrace him laying in my bed. I long for his Hugs and his Kisses.. I tell him I love him so much or a whole bunch.  He no longer has to want for me to love and embrace him because I do.

My Darling Tyler is such a wonderful man.  He has shown me unconditional love. He's loved me even when it seemed I had none to give him.  He loved me when I wanted nothing to do with him and made him feel lesser and lesser of a man as each year went on.  I'm so grateful he can move on with me even with all the hurt I have caused him.  I try very hard every day to reassure my love for him. I thank God as we pray for the wonderful strong man he gave me. I tell Tyler how lucky I am to have him. Most men would have left along time ago.

CDD has helped our marriage alot but truly the person who really saved our marriage (Besides of God of course) is my darling husband.  If it wasn't for his patience, his kindness, loving  heart, his great strength and his courage to keep moving on when all there seemed to be was darkness and coldness from the one he loved we would never be together today!!!

Thank you MY Sweet Darling HUSBAND for your unconditional love for me and our children!!! I love you so much!!! I'm so glad you stuck around and I can't wait to grow old with you and not to mention spoil our grandkids rotten tell them all the rotten things their parents did.  Fill them full of sugar and send them home!! O yes soo much fun... Yes I will ever so gratefully crawl in your wheelchair and get over your knee :)!!!

Looonggg Strange Week!!! And a Name change lol

Ok  first for the name change.. I can't do the initials anymore its driving me crazy sounds weird looks weird so were gonna just use Tyler instead of LT for my hubbies name and call it good lol...

Ok this week just seems so long and different.. O it started off on Sunday when I was sick and slept all day basically into Monday at 11Am.. The end result of that was no Sleep at ALL Monday night!!!... I've done it alot but it catches up to me quick!!! Normally by the next night I'm tired and cranky and well the end result is my rear end getting it lol!! Not this time though not then anyway..

So no sleep Monday night.. Tuesday Night I'm at home being good minding my own business when I walk in the room. Tyler is reading my text messages on my phone (that's fine I don't care he has every right and I have nothing to hide, the only problem with him reading my text messages is him jumping to conclusions) he looks at me shakes his head and puts my phone down.

I said "What?" ( I new there wasn't anything bad and I didn't erase anything either) See I used to have a really bad habit in the last 2 years of talking bad about him to my friends ALL the time and they did too. Since coming back to God and cdd Its not like that anymore. In almost 4 months I have not said 1 bad thing about him..

Anyway when I got i got home earlier I had been on the phone and I told the person I had to go ( I have to watch my phone and text time at home because I am prone to spend ALOT of time on my phone).. Well when I got in the house  he was asleep. Text goes like this.

I say "Hey i can talk he's asleep"..  Person says "Imagine that he's asleep and you have had none those hoh's" lol.. I say "Yeah and the laundry I asked him to fold isn't folded either... O well such is life"..  Ok in my translation that means this " Typical for a man to be sleeping and a woman to be running around like a chicken with her head cut off.. And O well the laundry wasn't done I don't care about the petty little things anymore lol"

His Translation is this.. "Worthless piece of crap is sleeping and didn't even do the laundry well whats new he never does anything anyway"... O BOY!!!

After explaining to him I don't and wouldn't let anyone else talk bad about him he said its fine just drop it.. Of course I kept trying to reassure him that it wasn't like that.. He didn't need to hear anymore he was fine.. I needed him to hear it. Well I dropped it and went off to bed..

He wanted to stay up and watch tv and just have some alone time... this is like 11pm still no sleep.. Ok so I didn't get to sleep till 2am because I'm thinking he's upset and I screwed up and that's why he didn't wanna come up.. Well around 130 he comes up. I told him what was bothering me and everything else that was bothering me. He cuddled me and listen to me vent as my water works are going off and somewhere in there I fell asleep..

Wed morning my friend calls at 5:30... her mom is sick and she need me to come get her son so she can be at work at 6:30.. Yay 3hrs asleep I'm doing good!!!.. So i go save the day get him and go on....

Wed is maintenance and we usually try and do that while kids were in school. Well i have friends son then work so that didn't happen... Wed night we both have class or church so its a late night everyone gets home around 9pm... Well about 11pm Tyler and I  go upstairs.  I don't know how the whole conversation got into effect but somewhere it went strange...I was proud of myself because in the past this conversation would have ended in a knock down blow out fight.. Basically in my translations he was saying I wasn't doing my part in the house work and  I know I was because I have been conscious about it.. Somewhere in there his translation of what I said came out the same he thought I was saying he didn't do anything (Stemming from the text message on Tuesday that was left unsatisfied grrr)..

The problem is we have 3 children whom are well SLOBS lol ... I go by and pick up the house and leave.. The kids come by and Tornado Henry sits in and well destroys the house in 5 min. Tyler comes in cleans it up. I come home its clean.. He is upset because I dint notice the house was clean (Well i cleaned it before I left) but he says no because it was dirty.. Anyway I explained to him what happens and that I thought he was doing fine and we had great teamwork exspecially over the weekend when I was sick and he was tired..

Well no maintenance Wed.... Well we were gonna do it Thursday and that didn't happen.. Thursday night  He was waking up from a nap when I went to bed... I text him when he went downstairs and I asked if he was using that bamboo stick for maintenance tomorrow he says "Maybe" ugh!! He loves keeping me in suspense.. I then ask "are we doing double maintenance" .. He says "yes and taking care of some other business".. I said "well at least you didn't keep me in suspense about that.." I then said "OO I wrote everything down this week and I only smoked one pack a day!!".. He says "Good for you lol"..  I said "whats funny think I'm kissing up?" He says "Yep".. I said "Is it working?" He says "nope".. I say "Can't blame a girl for trying".. lol
(I really wasn't kissing up but hey if it was gonna work thought I'd ask ... I had no Idea what the other issue was lol!!)

So anyway got my maintenance today with the bamboo stick and before he took care of his business (really i wasnt sure what his business was). He says did you say that you smoked to much or didn't write everything down"?  UMM in a fast voice NO Sir I wrote everything down and smoked only 1 pack a day!!! (UMM hey those are 2 separate offenses with 10 HARD swats!!! I didnt earn that this week).. Well his order of business is he wanted to make a point to make sure that I nor did I let anyone else talk bad about him!!!ok 10 HARD swats with the bamboo stick I got the point!!!  

So anyway theres my update....  O by the way if you want an implement that gets the point across and doesn't leave a mark and is fairly quiet its the bamboo stick.. Its good for maintenance because used lightly it doesn't hurt as bad as the loopy lol...

Looks like my other SPanko girls are being pretty good too

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Really?? Everything is NOT to be used for spanking!!! Goodness

Ok so I'm laying on the couch yesterday on my stomache (I'm not sure why I think laying on my stomache at any time is safe these days).. LT opens the front door and goes OO looky what I found.  Laying outside my door is a bamboo stick!!! Really?? Ok So who delivered that? lol.. Of course since I'm laying on my stomache it must be tried out (Now why didnt I roll over? Note to self ALWAYS lay on your back).  Yes LT gives me a swat as he's smilin and laughing!! OWWW Not funny!!! So yes we have a new implement. NICE!!! Thank you whoever left the bamboo stick lay outside my door!!!

Ok  so i got to thinking. Do we remember what items arent actually made for anymore?

These are Kitchen Utensils Meant for                                           Stirring this   or other food Items

The hair brush is used for creating art in your head not the bottom!!!

I believe the belt was made for holding up your pants!!  O looky there he has something in his hand
 Thi is a back scratcher its supposed to get rid of that pesky little Itch on your back NOT the pesky little additude the wife has!!! lol

The cane was meant for helping to assist in Walking... Not Assist in additude adjusting

While you are out in the Garage making these I'm sure that your wifey can come up with other projects that would make her house look  decorative not her back side

I just thought we might need a reminder (Well the Spanko Fellas) that these products really have other uses..

You know everything you pick up is NOT meant for Spanking!!! O and really so how come when you pick up a pillow you dont use that for spanking!! Or a piece of paper LOL!!!

Jus some little silly thoughts to share..

Hope things are going good ad my spanko gals are being good!!!

Monday, November 29, 2010

I have decided

Ok so I'm one of those people sometimes that go "Is it ok to post this? Is this the norm for this".. I been pondering on what I'm supposed to blog and not blog on a cdd blog.. Well I've decided I'm going to blog about what I want lol!!! 

My feelings my thoughts my kids!! It's really hard not to blog about my kids.. They are apart of my everyday life...I blog about my LT and I know that at any time thats ok..  See LT my friends from church, my kids, my parents, my blog , my cdd groups and one friend who calls me everyday  are all I really have anymore..

I was lost for about 2yrs.. I never physically left my house but mentally I wasn't here. I didn't want anything to do with God or what was right (I never denounced God I just wanted that known). I don't know call it a mental break down.. Yeah that sounds about right a mental break down..

After I came back to God and decided to live again I really didn't have a want for anyone or anything else. Yes I have siblings but well lets just say that in my time of need I have learned who is there. closely knitted family I thought I had lets just say someone forget to wash in gentle cycle and the knit fell apart!! lol... I will blog about that some day..

 I think the best thing for me and my family is that I stay closely knitted to LT and the kids..  I think that is something God has shown me because my family and friends are always what kept LT and I apart. He was always last and I don't want that anymore..

That's my rambling for the night LT wants to watch some tv now that the little blessings (goobers lol) are tucked in bed.. So I will have more tomorrow..


The only way its done right is my way!! O Help ME

Ok So as i posted Friday night my daughter had the tummy flue. Well I get the tummy flue every 3-4yrs so Yup you guessed it it was time.. Saturday night at 2am as I woke up to a prank caller (O now I know how annoying we were as teens sifting thrue the white pages for a good number to prank anyway) who didn't say anything he only breathed, I think he could've at least asked if my fridge was running or something.. lol... Well  I new it was coming. I layed in bed all day Sunday.. I asked LT if he would get up with the kids Monday.. Ok heres where it goes.

LT wakes me up at 7am  this morning "Hey what time do the kids need to be up?"  I say "they need to be up by 7:20 D needs to be at school by 8 and K after that".. Then my friend calls and its 7:45  K walks in not dressed ad I said "Has D eaten?" (stupid question) D is still laying in bed of course.. I try and lay back down to stay out of it.. For one I just wanted to let him do it his way and for 2 i new I would get myself in trouble with my wonderful mouth.. Well 7:55 I see LT is in the bathroom.. I said " you need to go D is gonna have a detention for being late." LT says "Well I been waking him up."  I say " you have to get him up while hes getting dressed get his breakfast".. Anyway They finally get out of the house at 8:05...

I wake up to a text saying " you were pretty mean to us this morning you can do it yourself in the morning".. Ok I would rather do it myself.. Had he woke up at 7:30 and they were late ok fine but 7:00 was plenty of time to get them there on time..

I didnt think I was mean or said anything in a mean way.. O I can't be perfect all the time. I know I know I should've just laid in bed!!!

I'm His Queen!!! HUH??

Ok so the other night LT and I are laying in bed and he just says " You are my Queen"..  I'm your what?  See anytime I've ever been called a Queen by him is when he used to say I was Queen Biotch!! but not in a nice way!!...

Anyway every since he called me his Queen I can't stop thinking about it.. Maybe for some of you its not that big of a deal but you have to know that LT and I haven't really had nice things to say to each other for a VERY VERY long time..  I know that I have caused him alot of pain and one of the goals when I become a submissive wife even before CDD relationship was to give him the good Godly wife he deserved.. Well i think I'm succeeding.. I want him to be proud of who I am and forget who I was!!! I think its working..

The Queen

Saturday, November 27, 2010

The expectation of waiting... Hmmm Which implement?

I said "Honey I'm going to bed now are you coming?" (that's lingo for I'm ready for you to rosey my bottom now so I can sleep) lol.. LT answers me with "Yeah darlin I'll be up in a min"..  (That's lingo for yes darlin but go ahead and read, text, talk on the phone.. Get comfy in the bed, anticipate your spanking that you have already been waiting for all day and I'll be up in an hour).. Lol...

Friday is a maintenance day.... I also had a discipline spanking coming for not writing down what I spent (Sorry spanko girls I know this gives your HOH ideas).. Also for smoking to many packs of cigarettes..

 Since were new at this I never really know what to expect.. We have yet to get to the long 30 min + or 100 swat spankings.. I'm anticipating that day coming.. I never underestimate LT...

Well I lay in bed (reading blogs of course) wondering which implement he is going to use.. Normally with kids being home I know to expect the loopy but again I never underestimate LT...  We did only have one kid at home and she was sleeping kinda.... I'm just hoping its not the paddle or the loopy lol...

LT text me and said "you know I love you right?"  ( you will find that even sitting next to each other we will text each other, Yes we talk alot in person but we very often have little nosey ears around us and sometimes its easier to open up with a text).. I said " I know I love you too. Are you coming up?"  He says "Yes sorry i got interested in this show its almost over." I said "Ok I'm going to sleep lol"... He says "Just a few more min"..

About an hour or so later (Not really sure how long because I was lost in Blogger Land).. He comes up... He grabs the backscratcher..I thought to myself  "O darn we haven't used that in a while I forgot ALL about that!!! Yeah not that one either...." He had already read my journal so he new what he was dealing out....I'm still laying in bed (Of course I don't move till he says too I'm not a about to just jump rite up and say here I am, No rule has ever been made that when he comes in the room that I have to get up so until then I will stagger)....He says "Are you ready to get up and get this over with?"   Of course I say "No" with a giggle... He grins a little and says "Ok well get up and lets get this over with.."" OOO theres my cue... So as a good submissive wife I am I stand up and assume position.. (Position is stand in front of the hope chest and wait for him to pull down my pants...)

He says "The firts 10 are for maintenance.." I swear there was more than 10 lol.. Then he says "This is for not writing down what you spend..You have GOT to write down what you spend money on and this is for smoking to many packs of cigarettes."  I swear these days after 2 swats during discipline I can Not keep from squirming or tensing up and I hear tensing up makes it worse... He then Says "Ok its all over".. 

So i then walk over to the bed and assume my position there with my face in the pillow.. The embarrassment and awkwardness afterwards sucks.. I wonder does the awkwardness before and after a spanking go away?

Anyway I eventually get under the covers.. LT kisses my forehead and says give me a sec as he gets ready for bed..

This man just spanked my bare bottom and all I want is for him to hold me and fall asleep in his arms. That seems so weird and I don't think anyone would understand it (my spanko friends do)... The funny thing is in the past after just yelling at each other I would have rather he slept on the But since he didn't yell  he just spanked my bare bottom I want I want him to hold me..How Bizarre.. That is soo weird and not Normal  lol... I like weird.. Weird  is good weird is better than Normal I will say that...

Friday, November 26, 2010

Parenting 101 Health Class (if you are eating read later) LOL

Ok so in Health class they taught us we shouldn't have babies till we got married because they are alot of work. They taught us that we wouldn't be able to do the things we wanted to do.. Yada Yada Yada.. Obviously I didn't pay attention as I was prego at 17 lol!!!  (Glad my kids don't read this)...

Anyway They never told us that you could be cleaning puke out of your bed from your 7 yr old!!!
Maybe if they told us (especially the boys) we would have to clean up puke and poopie undies then less kids would have babies!!! Lol

Well I guess I am lucky that in 14yrs of being a mom i have only cleaned puke out of my bed 3x... At least this time I wasn't in the bed!!!  I am however lucky too because my boys have only been sick about 4x since they were 4 and my daughter she has only been sick 3x her whole life and on Antibiotics once!!!

Note to self and all others with teen-agers:  Remind them that it is possible they will be cleaning poopie undies and puke out of their bed!!!

Just thought I'd share a little humor as my next post Is probably not going to be so humorous, at least not to my spanko Girls...


The Important roll of the HOH

We spend so much time talking about the overwelming responsibilities of day to day lives that women have!!!! We sit and whine to our friends how our dh's never help and dont do anything!!!.. OO stop with the whining.. The bottom line is we are big babies and we need them....

Yes us women play a very important Roll in the family Yes they need us too.. So we pay the bills, give the kids baths, clean house and go to work.. I dont know what goes on in your house but I'm constantly turning around saying "go ask dad, Have dad fix it, Honey can you,".. I see from the time LT walks in the house till the time he tells our kids to go to bed Everyone including me is talking his ear off.. Also we are constantly "Dad, Honey Will you, Can you".. Give the man a BREAK already!!

While we are worrying about what he doesnt do and all that we have to do he is busy making sure the kids do what they are supposed to do and making sure that I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.. During all this he has to work hard at keeping composure, making sure he does the things that he expects me to do.. I try and make sure to tell him that hes doing things right instead of jsut telling him when he's doing things wrong!!

Besides all this he has to worry about bills getting paid...

Picture Questions; Figuring out this blogging thing

Ok I will soon stop being annoying... Maybe  Ok well don't ask LT what he thinks lol...

Anyway what site do you all get tasteful pics from to put on here?  I was looking for some and my eyes were popping out!!! Not to mention my desktop is in the kitchen and my 7 and 11yr old were running around and at 32 I felt like I was a kid again hiding from my parents lol... So anyway with all my looking around I still didn't find very many tasteful ones!

So if you could  let me know where to find them I would be grateful!!! Thank you

How does the blogging world work?

Some if not all of you I'm sure will be laughing at me lol!!  I'm not sure how this blogging thing works. I don't know if everyone is using real names or not..

From the comments I feel as if I'm in the process of making some great friends and I feel very welcome.  With that being said (this is where the laughs come in lol)  Something is eating at me.. I feel deceitful because I'm not using my real name!!!  (Ok I'm sure some may have figured that out.) I did however use my dhs initials. ( i almost used his middle name but it felt like I was cheating seeing another name up there) lol!!

So anyway we have lots of  RLF who live in blogger land and we are not ready to explain our lifestyle just yet, even though I really want to.. For the purpose of saving other marriages...

So if you want to know my real name and my dh's feel free to E-mail me
O i feel so much better now!!!  O this darn CDD lifestyle and the overwhelming love I have for God and to live a good life can sometimes be OVER powering!!!

P.S. I had to edit because I put my E-mail adress up which had my name and b-day on it!! O call me a blonde.. I'm sure someday I will slip but O well LOL


Thursday, November 25, 2010

Some Habits are hard to break!!!

Ok so I am horrible with money well I was.. I used to spend alot.. I didn't buy big things just a dollar here and a dollar there... Well LT has made a rule that I have to ask him before I spend any money. Ok not a problem.. The problem is keeping track of money I spend.. So far I have only kept track one day!!..He is just starting this week cracking down on that and I'm sure Friday he will be cracking down :(

I journal everyday so yes its written down.. LT reads the journal whenever he wants so I don't know if he has read it yet but we will discuss the journal on Friday soo he will know on Friday if he doesn't already...

I don't know I think its like a little rebellious in me lol... I'm sure LT will take care of that come Friday (which I'm not looking forward too because Fridays are also maintenance and well it will all be combined!!).. I have changed everything else tremendously but this is one thing that is just annoying to me.. I forget then I remember then I don't feel like doing it when I do remember... GRRR

Ok so another problem... I smoke and I have been wanting to quit.. LT smokes too but hes more of a closet smoker so he doesn't smoke as much as me... I smoke 2 packs a day and LT is not happy with this so starting this week I'm only aloud to smoke 1pack a day which means 5 packs of cigarettes for the week, Well today is Thursday and I am on pack #5... I have 2 choices I suppose.. I could  not smoke at all tomorrow or suffer the consequences and work harder next week :(... I did sooo good early in the week but yesterday I smoked a pack in a half and today I have almost smoked 2 packs...I hate smoking I do wanna quit..  I suppose after my lesson on Friday I will be wanting to try harder next week!!!

ThanksGiving Day with Family

So we went to my sisters today ...My oldest sister has 3 grown married boys.. One of the boys was arguing with his wife.. As I set there and watched my nephew and his wife argued... the total disrespect she had for him really got to me... First I was thinking O she is gonna be in BIG trouble!!! lol (No wait that's just me) lol...  Then I remembered NO she wears the pants in the family!!!

I just sat and smiled because the same argument they were having and the same additude she had towards him I would have had not 2 months ago..  See their 2.5yr old pooped in his undies.. Well we all know how nasty that is to clean up..  She tells him to take care of it and he tells her no.. Well she proceeds by saying "O i forgot YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING"... O yes That would have been my answer tooo lol..

Then I sat there and thought O that wouldn't be my answer now.. Respectfully I would have asked if he would do it and if he said no..Then I would have whined a little hoping he would feel sorry for me (knowing he wouldn't feel sorry for me lol) but then I would have done it!!! Thank God for the humbling peace of wanting to be a submissive wife and knowing the consequences of my rude and disrespectful behaviour..

I feel sad alot of times and maybe a little guilty because I want to share the CDD lifestyle with my family.. I know they could really use the peace in their family.. I really cant share it at least not now.. I do NOT want to hear anything they have to say about it.. Their negativity really gets me down..

Anyway I hope that more and more young couples will grab a hold of this cdd lifestyle and the wives will be submissive...

Anyway I hope you all had a wonderful Day!!!

Hope my Spanko Girls stayed out of trouble... So far so Good for me!!! :)


Are we doing this right?

So the night we decided to journey cdd we decided to go ahead and start.

Now mind you I think I was spanked maybe 4x in my 32 yrs so really I don't know what to expect...  So dh gives me about 4 swats with his belt with my pants on.  Little sting but ok we are trying...

Next we go with pants down and hand over panties... O a little more effective... ( we had decided to do a week of maintenance so we could get old garbage behind us and figure this thing out).. Next time we did pants down and belt!!! OK OK I surrender!!!! Jack Pot that was the goal!!! lol... 

So we did maintenance for a week and dh says we will just use it for discipline no maintenance needed!!! Boy he found out fast that didn't work...  For the next 2 weeks our humble quiet little atmosphere that we had.. Well it slowly dwindled away... Dh was reluctant to go forward with the discipline ( I'm sure other hubbies can understand how hard it was at first.. Everyone is raised not to hit girls)...   As the arguments grew I kept on websites asking for help... I would tell dh he needed to go threw with discipline...

Well one night we had a BLOW UP!!! UGH... I thought we had control of this.. I thought this nightmare was over!!!... Well in the middle of the blow up I just prayed found myself and walked away... (of course I wasn't the only one blowing up but my blow up was the biggest part of it.. US women we do NOT no when to STOP!!!)   Well after the surrender flags went up LT and I talked and we had to go back to the 3x a week maintenance... We talked about his reluctance to discipline me.. I explained to him that him not disciplining me was worse than disciplining me. 

Well we are about  a month or so back into maintenance.. The humbleness and peace is now back into our home!!! Praise GOD!!!..

Dh is working hard at coming threw with the discipline.  There are times I ask why he didn't follow threw but then he does...  He has made and found his own implements so he's getting it...

The funny part is I have learned that when I get frustrated when he doesn't follow threw or do it the way I think he should well I'm kinda defeating the purpose.... Getting upset because things aren't going my way well that's not really surrendering control to him now is it?? 

I suppose that what we didn't bargain for is what a challenge it is for both of us...I think the learning part of it is growing us both closer together.. God has really shown me alot of things about being married and my place in life as a wife... I really wish on my wedding night that my dh would have put me OTK and said "I'm the HOH.. I will ALWAYS have the final say.. I expect certain things from you and if you DO NOT follow thrue with them this is what will happen"... I guarantee had he done that we would have had a very blissful marriage"... But he didn't so here we are and maybe its better this way because we are once again learning life all over again!!!

What a fun Journey, what a wonderful way to enjoy life, Grow closer together and get to know eachother...

Is this the way?

No, you are crazy. He's gonna think your weird and childish.  O maybe I am crazy.  You need to be strong. Somehow some way though  I need to show him that I surrender and I will finally after 14yrs let him lead this family.  Ok ok I'm just gonna tell him see what he says.  I'm just gonna tell him I need a SPANKING!!! I'm gonna tell him I need to be held accountable for my actions.  Maybe if we had done this years ago then we wouldn't be where we are in our marriage.  Maybe I wouldn't have torn the house down in a day!!! Well more like 2years but I think it only took a day.

   My dh (LT) and I have been married 14yrs.  We have 2 boys 14,11.. 1 girl 7..  

We had come to a point in our lives that we couldn't take anymore... The D word was looking very promising but this time after 14yrs it wasn't me wanting it it was LT... He couldn't take anymore he was tired of me being the head and him the Heal... I finally realized what I had done to him our whole marriage... For almost a month I had been submissive to him and showing him that I didn't want control anymore..

One day I was driving home and I had thought. "Daisy you just need a spanking".. So I told dh that I felt that I needed a spanking for my actions...I thought that this would be a good way for him to regain control as HOH... He agreed and didn't think I was silly... 

Then I started looking on the net and found that I wasn't crazy or alone lol... I stumbled across CDD (Christian Domestic Discipline).... LT and I both searched and prayed about starting a CDD lifestyle..  We wanted to make sure that this lifestyle we wanted to enter is something that would look good in God's eyes and not worldly... The last thing our marriage needed was some more worldly crap in it!!!

So after praying and searching and agreeing thus began our CDD lifestyle... Thus began the beginning of many times of me standing in front of my dh bare bottomed waiting to feel the sting of whatever implement he had picked...

Also this was the beginning of harmony in our home!!! No more screaming fights, no more making our kids cry, no more scarring hurtful words... I love this man and never thought I could... My kids don't fight like they did.  We are not all so angry at each other and the world..

Don't get me wrong my kids fight, they annoy me... LT and I irritate each other sometimes but we are learning (well I'm learning lol) to keep our cool... We have talked more in 2 months then we have in 14yrs!!!..

So hope you will journey on with me as we journey into this beautiful harmonizing world of CDD!!!

God Bless  My spanko friends