Monday, November 29, 2010

I have decided

Ok so I'm one of those people sometimes that go "Is it ok to post this? Is this the norm for this".. I been pondering on what I'm supposed to blog and not blog on a cdd blog.. Well I've decided I'm going to blog about what I want lol!!! 

My feelings my thoughts my kids!! It's really hard not to blog about my kids.. They are apart of my everyday life...I blog about my LT and I know that at any time thats ok..  See LT my friends from church, my kids, my parents, my blog , my cdd groups and one friend who calls me everyday  are all I really have anymore..

I was lost for about 2yrs.. I never physically left my house but mentally I wasn't here. I didn't want anything to do with God or what was right (I never denounced God I just wanted that known). I don't know call it a mental break down.. Yeah that sounds about right a mental break down..

After I came back to God and decided to live again I really didn't have a want for anyone or anything else. Yes I have siblings but well lets just say that in my time of need I have learned who is there. closely knitted family I thought I had lets just say someone forget to wash in gentle cycle and the knit fell apart!! lol... I will blog about that some day..

 I think the best thing for me and my family is that I stay closely knitted to LT and the kids..  I think that is something God has shown me because my family and friends are always what kept LT and I apart. He was always last and I don't want that anymore..

That's my rambling for the night LT wants to watch some tv now that the little blessings (goobers lol) are tucked in bed.. So I will have more tomorrow..


The only way its done right is my way!! O Help ME

Ok So as i posted Friday night my daughter had the tummy flue. Well I get the tummy flue every 3-4yrs so Yup you guessed it it was time.. Saturday night at 2am as I woke up to a prank caller (O now I know how annoying we were as teens sifting thrue the white pages for a good number to prank anyway) who didn't say anything he only breathed, I think he could've at least asked if my fridge was running or something.. lol... Well  I new it was coming. I layed in bed all day Sunday.. I asked LT if he would get up with the kids Monday.. Ok heres where it goes.

LT wakes me up at 7am  this morning "Hey what time do the kids need to be up?"  I say "they need to be up by 7:20 D needs to be at school by 8 and K after that".. Then my friend calls and its 7:45  K walks in not dressed ad I said "Has D eaten?" (stupid question) D is still laying in bed of course.. I try and lay back down to stay out of it.. For one I just wanted to let him do it his way and for 2 i new I would get myself in trouble with my wonderful mouth.. Well 7:55 I see LT is in the bathroom.. I said " you need to go D is gonna have a detention for being late." LT says "Well I been waking him up."  I say " you have to get him up while hes getting dressed get his breakfast".. Anyway They finally get out of the house at 8:05...

I wake up to a text saying " you were pretty mean to us this morning you can do it yourself in the morning".. Ok I would rather do it myself.. Had he woke up at 7:30 and they were late ok fine but 7:00 was plenty of time to get them there on time..

I didnt think I was mean or said anything in a mean way.. O I can't be perfect all the time. I know I know I should've just laid in bed!!!

I'm His Queen!!! HUH??

Ok so the other night LT and I are laying in bed and he just says " You are my Queen"..  I'm your what?  See anytime I've ever been called a Queen by him is when he used to say I was Queen Biotch!! but not in a nice way!!...

Anyway every since he called me his Queen I can't stop thinking about it.. Maybe for some of you its not that big of a deal but you have to know that LT and I haven't really had nice things to say to each other for a VERY VERY long time..  I know that I have caused him alot of pain and one of the goals when I become a submissive wife even before CDD relationship was to give him the good Godly wife he deserved.. Well i think I'm succeeding.. I want him to be proud of who I am and forget who I was!!! I think its working..

The Queen

Saturday, November 27, 2010

The expectation of waiting... Hmmm Which implement?

I said "Honey I'm going to bed now are you coming?" (that's lingo for I'm ready for you to rosey my bottom now so I can sleep) lol.. LT answers me with "Yeah darlin I'll be up in a min"..  (That's lingo for yes darlin but go ahead and read, text, talk on the phone.. Get comfy in the bed, anticipate your spanking that you have already been waiting for all day and I'll be up in an hour).. Lol...

Friday is a maintenance day.... I also had a discipline spanking coming for not writing down what I spent (Sorry spanko girls I know this gives your HOH ideas).. Also for smoking to many packs of cigarettes..

 Since were new at this I never really know what to expect.. We have yet to get to the long 30 min + or 100 swat spankings.. I'm anticipating that day coming.. I never underestimate LT...

Well I lay in bed (reading blogs of course) wondering which implement he is going to use.. Normally with kids being home I know to expect the loopy but again I never underestimate LT...  We did only have one kid at home and she was sleeping kinda.... I'm just hoping its not the paddle or the loopy lol...

LT text me and said "you know I love you right?"  ( you will find that even sitting next to each other we will text each other, Yes we talk alot in person but we very often have little nosey ears around us and sometimes its easier to open up with a text).. I said " I know I love you too. Are you coming up?"  He says "Yes sorry i got interested in this show its almost over." I said "Ok I'm going to sleep lol"... He says "Just a few more min"..

About an hour or so later (Not really sure how long because I was lost in Blogger Land).. He comes up... He grabs the backscratcher..I thought to myself  "O darn we haven't used that in a while I forgot ALL about that!!! Yeah not that one either...." He had already read my journal so he new what he was dealing out....I'm still laying in bed (Of course I don't move till he says too I'm not a about to just jump rite up and say here I am, No rule has ever been made that when he comes in the room that I have to get up so until then I will stagger)....He says "Are you ready to get up and get this over with?"   Of course I say "No" with a giggle... He grins a little and says "Ok well get up and lets get this over with.."" OOO theres my cue... So as a good submissive wife I am I stand up and assume position.. (Position is stand in front of the hope chest and wait for him to pull down my pants...)

He says "The firts 10 are for maintenance.." I swear there was more than 10 lol.. Then he says "This is for not writing down what you spend..You have GOT to write down what you spend money on and this is for smoking to many packs of cigarettes."  I swear these days after 2 swats during discipline I can Not keep from squirming or tensing up and I hear tensing up makes it worse... He then Says "Ok its all over".. 

So i then walk over to the bed and assume my position there with my face in the pillow.. The embarrassment and awkwardness afterwards sucks.. I wonder does the awkwardness before and after a spanking go away?

Anyway I eventually get under the covers.. LT kisses my forehead and says give me a sec as he gets ready for bed..

This man just spanked my bare bottom and all I want is for him to hold me and fall asleep in his arms. That seems so weird and I don't think anyone would understand it (my spanko friends do)... The funny thing is in the past after just yelling at each other I would have rather he slept on the But since he didn't yell  he just spanked my bare bottom I want I want him to hold me..How Bizarre.. That is soo weird and not Normal  lol... I like weird.. Weird  is good weird is better than Normal I will say that...

Friday, November 26, 2010

Parenting 101 Health Class (if you are eating read later) LOL

Ok so in Health class they taught us we shouldn't have babies till we got married because they are alot of work. They taught us that we wouldn't be able to do the things we wanted to do.. Yada Yada Yada.. Obviously I didn't pay attention as I was prego at 17 lol!!!  (Glad my kids don't read this)...

Anyway They never told us that you could be cleaning puke out of your bed from your 7 yr old!!!
Maybe if they told us (especially the boys) we would have to clean up puke and poopie undies then less kids would have babies!!! Lol

Well I guess I am lucky that in 14yrs of being a mom i have only cleaned puke out of my bed 3x... At least this time I wasn't in the bed!!!  I am however lucky too because my boys have only been sick about 4x since they were 4 and my daughter she has only been sick 3x her whole life and on Antibiotics once!!!

Note to self and all others with teen-agers:  Remind them that it is possible they will be cleaning poopie undies and puke out of their bed!!!

Just thought I'd share a little humor as my next post Is probably not going to be so humorous, at least not to my spanko Girls...


The Important roll of the HOH

We spend so much time talking about the overwelming responsibilities of day to day lives that women have!!!! We sit and whine to our friends how our dh's never help and dont do anything!!!.. OO stop with the whining.. The bottom line is we are big babies and we need them....

Yes us women play a very important Roll in the family Yes they need us too.. So we pay the bills, give the kids baths, clean house and go to work.. I dont know what goes on in your house but I'm constantly turning around saying "go ask dad, Have dad fix it, Honey can you,".. I see from the time LT walks in the house till the time he tells our kids to go to bed Everyone including me is talking his ear off.. Also we are constantly "Dad, Honey Will you, Can you".. Give the man a BREAK already!!

While we are worrying about what he doesnt do and all that we have to do he is busy making sure the kids do what they are supposed to do and making sure that I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.. During all this he has to work hard at keeping composure, making sure he does the things that he expects me to do.. I try and make sure to tell him that hes doing things right instead of jsut telling him when he's doing things wrong!!

Besides all this he has to worry about bills getting paid...

Picture Questions; Figuring out this blogging thing

Ok I will soon stop being annoying... Maybe  Ok well don't ask LT what he thinks lol...

Anyway what site do you all get tasteful pics from to put on here?  I was looking for some and my eyes were popping out!!! Not to mention my desktop is in the kitchen and my 7 and 11yr old were running around and at 32 I felt like I was a kid again hiding from my parents lol... So anyway with all my looking around I still didn't find very many tasteful ones!

So if you could  let me know where to find them I would be grateful!!! Thank you

How does the blogging world work?

Some if not all of you I'm sure will be laughing at me lol!!  I'm not sure how this blogging thing works. I don't know if everyone is using real names or not..

From the comments I feel as if I'm in the process of making some great friends and I feel very welcome.  With that being said (this is where the laughs come in lol)  Something is eating at me.. I feel deceitful because I'm not using my real name!!!  (Ok I'm sure some may have figured that out.) I did however use my dhs initials. ( i almost used his middle name but it felt like I was cheating seeing another name up there) lol!!

So anyway we have lots of  RLF who live in blogger land and we are not ready to explain our lifestyle just yet, even though I really want to.. For the purpose of saving other marriages...

So if you want to know my real name and my dh's feel free to E-mail me
O i feel so much better now!!!  O this darn CDD lifestyle and the overwhelming love I have for God and to live a good life can sometimes be OVER powering!!!

P.S. I had to edit because I put my E-mail adress up which had my name and b-day on it!! O call me a blonde.. I'm sure someday I will slip but O well LOL


Thursday, November 25, 2010

Some Habits are hard to break!!!

Ok so I am horrible with money well I was.. I used to spend alot.. I didn't buy big things just a dollar here and a dollar there... Well LT has made a rule that I have to ask him before I spend any money. Ok not a problem.. The problem is keeping track of money I spend.. So far I have only kept track one day!!..He is just starting this week cracking down on that and I'm sure Friday he will be cracking down :(

I journal everyday so yes its written down.. LT reads the journal whenever he wants so I don't know if he has read it yet but we will discuss the journal on Friday soo he will know on Friday if he doesn't already...

I don't know I think its like a little rebellious in me lol... I'm sure LT will take care of that come Friday (which I'm not looking forward too because Fridays are also maintenance and well it will all be combined!!).. I have changed everything else tremendously but this is one thing that is just annoying to me.. I forget then I remember then I don't feel like doing it when I do remember... GRRR

Ok so another problem... I smoke and I have been wanting to quit.. LT smokes too but hes more of a closet smoker so he doesn't smoke as much as me... I smoke 2 packs a day and LT is not happy with this so starting this week I'm only aloud to smoke 1pack a day which means 5 packs of cigarettes for the week, Well today is Thursday and I am on pack #5... I have 2 choices I suppose.. I could  not smoke at all tomorrow or suffer the consequences and work harder next week :(... I did sooo good early in the week but yesterday I smoked a pack in a half and today I have almost smoked 2 packs...I hate smoking I do wanna quit..  I suppose after my lesson on Friday I will be wanting to try harder next week!!!

ThanksGiving Day with Family

So we went to my sisters today ...My oldest sister has 3 grown married boys.. One of the boys was arguing with his wife.. As I set there and watched my nephew and his wife argued... the total disrespect she had for him really got to me... First I was thinking O she is gonna be in BIG trouble!!! lol (No wait that's just me) lol...  Then I remembered NO she wears the pants in the family!!!

I just sat and smiled because the same argument they were having and the same additude she had towards him I would have had not 2 months ago..  See their 2.5yr old pooped in his undies.. Well we all know how nasty that is to clean up..  She tells him to take care of it and he tells her no.. Well she proceeds by saying "O i forgot YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING"... O yes That would have been my answer tooo lol..

Then I sat there and thought O that wouldn't be my answer now.. Respectfully I would have asked if he would do it and if he said no..Then I would have whined a little hoping he would feel sorry for me (knowing he wouldn't feel sorry for me lol) but then I would have done it!!! Thank God for the humbling peace of wanting to be a submissive wife and knowing the consequences of my rude and disrespectful behaviour..

I feel sad alot of times and maybe a little guilty because I want to share the CDD lifestyle with my family.. I know they could really use the peace in their family.. I really cant share it at least not now.. I do NOT want to hear anything they have to say about it.. Their negativity really gets me down..

Anyway I hope that more and more young couples will grab a hold of this cdd lifestyle and the wives will be submissive...

Anyway I hope you all had a wonderful Day!!!

Hope my Spanko Girls stayed out of trouble... So far so Good for me!!! :)


Are we doing this right?

So the night we decided to journey cdd we decided to go ahead and start.

Now mind you I think I was spanked maybe 4x in my 32 yrs so really I don't know what to expect...  So dh gives me about 4 swats with his belt with my pants on.  Little sting but ok we are trying...

Next we go with pants down and hand over panties... O a little more effective... ( we had decided to do a week of maintenance so we could get old garbage behind us and figure this thing out).. Next time we did pants down and belt!!! OK OK I surrender!!!! Jack Pot that was the goal!!! lol... 

So we did maintenance for a week and dh says we will just use it for discipline no maintenance needed!!! Boy he found out fast that didn't work...  For the next 2 weeks our humble quiet little atmosphere that we had.. Well it slowly dwindled away... Dh was reluctant to go forward with the discipline ( I'm sure other hubbies can understand how hard it was at first.. Everyone is raised not to hit girls)...   As the arguments grew I kept on websites asking for help... I would tell dh he needed to go threw with discipline...

Well one night we had a BLOW UP!!! UGH... I thought we had control of this.. I thought this nightmare was over!!!... Well in the middle of the blow up I just prayed found myself and walked away... (of course I wasn't the only one blowing up but my blow up was the biggest part of it.. US women we do NOT no when to STOP!!!)   Well after the surrender flags went up LT and I talked and we had to go back to the 3x a week maintenance... We talked about his reluctance to discipline me.. I explained to him that him not disciplining me was worse than disciplining me. 

Well we are about  a month or so back into maintenance.. The humbleness and peace is now back into our home!!! Praise GOD!!!..

Dh is working hard at coming threw with the discipline.  There are times I ask why he didn't follow threw but then he does...  He has made and found his own implements so he's getting it...

The funny part is I have learned that when I get frustrated when he doesn't follow threw or do it the way I think he should well I'm kinda defeating the purpose.... Getting upset because things aren't going my way well that's not really surrendering control to him now is it?? 

I suppose that what we didn't bargain for is what a challenge it is for both of us...I think the learning part of it is growing us both closer together.. God has really shown me alot of things about being married and my place in life as a wife... I really wish on my wedding night that my dh would have put me OTK and said "I'm the HOH.. I will ALWAYS have the final say.. I expect certain things from you and if you DO NOT follow thrue with them this is what will happen"... I guarantee had he done that we would have had a very blissful marriage"... But he didn't so here we are and maybe its better this way because we are once again learning life all over again!!!

What a fun Journey, what a wonderful way to enjoy life, Grow closer together and get to know eachother...

Is this the way?

No, you are crazy. He's gonna think your weird and childish.  O maybe I am crazy.  You need to be strong. Somehow some way though  I need to show him that I surrender and I will finally after 14yrs let him lead this family.  Ok ok I'm just gonna tell him see what he says.  I'm just gonna tell him I need a SPANKING!!! I'm gonna tell him I need to be held accountable for my actions.  Maybe if we had done this years ago then we wouldn't be where we are in our marriage.  Maybe I wouldn't have torn the house down in a day!!! Well more like 2years but I think it only took a day.

   My dh (LT) and I have been married 14yrs.  We have 2 boys 14,11.. 1 girl 7..  

We had come to a point in our lives that we couldn't take anymore... The D word was looking very promising but this time after 14yrs it wasn't me wanting it it was LT... He couldn't take anymore he was tired of me being the head and him the Heal... I finally realized what I had done to him our whole marriage... For almost a month I had been submissive to him and showing him that I didn't want control anymore..

One day I was driving home and I had thought. "Daisy you just need a spanking".. So I told dh that I felt that I needed a spanking for my actions...I thought that this would be a good way for him to regain control as HOH... He agreed and didn't think I was silly... 

Then I started looking on the net and found that I wasn't crazy or alone lol... I stumbled across CDD (Christian Domestic Discipline).... LT and I both searched and prayed about starting a CDD lifestyle..  We wanted to make sure that this lifestyle we wanted to enter is something that would look good in God's eyes and not worldly... The last thing our marriage needed was some more worldly crap in it!!!

So after praying and searching and agreeing thus began our CDD lifestyle... Thus began the beginning of many times of me standing in front of my dh bare bottomed waiting to feel the sting of whatever implement he had picked...

Also this was the beginning of harmony in our home!!! No more screaming fights, no more making our kids cry, no more scarring hurtful words... I love this man and never thought I could... My kids don't fight like they did.  We are not all so angry at each other and the world..

Don't get me wrong my kids fight, they annoy me... LT and I irritate each other sometimes but we are learning (well I'm learning lol) to keep our cool... We have talked more in 2 months then we have in 14yrs!!!..

So hope you will journey on with me as we journey into this beautiful harmonizing world of CDD!!!

God Bless  My spanko friends