Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Breaking a woman of wanting things her way is NOT easy!!!

I'm sitting here thinking after the incident last night where it didn't seem he cared that i wasn't writing things down. I feel i cared more. Well after one incident of him not being real consistent in like a month I'm done lol... I was sitting here thinking. Forget it. Were quitting dd I'm tired of it he doesn't take it serious. He's not doing things the right way. I'm trying hard and he's not. O were just waisting our time.. I mean I was really serious. I was in full pout mode just DONE!!! cant do it right so were done!!! lol. All because things didn't go the way I thought they should!! O BOY!! He has been taking it serious but ONE time he doesn't.  (I need a spanking for acting like this lol)

Then i was like what? You want him to lead you but you want him to do it the right way and to you the right way is YOUR WAY!!! lol. that is funny.  Ok so basically its like discipline me but do it the way I want you too!!! hahaha!!!  I always have to have control somewhere.

You know i really got to thinking though maybe he just feels like well she is trying really hard at everything else I'm just gonna let this go. To me I want him to hold me accountable but if he does he does. I think i just need to try hard at continuing to write things down and watch my smoking. If i don't do those things then one day he's gonna ask other than on Friday and I might either be in trouble or surprise him and make him happy that I'm trying to do something on our own.

I think when were in this Journey sometimes us women want to be held accountable for everything to make us do it and sometimes maybe our HOHS want to give us that little freedom to make a few little choices on our own..  Hmmm maybe?  What about it HOHS do you like us to just do it on our own because you know we can at times?



  1. I have felt that way too; esp in the beginning; I realized I wasn't completely surrendering to him.
    It is a process though : I mean we have held onto things for so long; it's hard to let 'everything' go

  2. I think the HOH wants to be totally in charge and bend you to his will.