Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Are those terms of Endearment I hear?

So the other day I get a text from Tyler "Hey baby hows your day?"  HUH?? I read it twice.. I was ready to leave where I was and  go unite myself with him!!! lol.  Then he continues throughout the week calling me babe, sweetheart,  I'm wondering what this man did with my husband LOL!!!

Now i have always called Tyler Honey never by his first name .. I started it when we were dating.
Now the only words of endearment that have came out of his mouth over the year well were ummm I don't think words of endearment more like words of impeachment lol!!!..

Anyway amazing how being kind and honoring your husband makes him love you more and appreciate you more. When we started TTWD I didn't know what it would do to our lives.. Really i think me totally surrendering to God and loving God has helped.. I don't just submit to my husband because i don't want to be spanked. I submit because to make God happy i have to do what his word has said to do..

 I know Tyler isn't gonna be perfect nor am I. I do believe that we both have committed ourselves 100% to this marriage and loving each other..  This year for Christmas  got him something he would never know. I put thought into and that has rarely happened. Anyway I just wanted to share a Little bit on how TTWD is working for us and how we are doing..

God Bless..

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


So this is the prime example as to why everything you Hoh's Pick up is NOT for spanking.  It made me turn maintenance into discipline. I Know Tyler says I did it but I say he did it.. It wasn't fair I tell ya!!! LOL.. 

Ok Tyler bought this particle board or fake wood stuff for trim on the floor in the door way. It was about 2ft long and in plastic.. (OK i think you all understand what it is.) Ok so its bed time and we were upstairs. He was playing around with our  oldest lightly smacking him with this thing..

 Well I have sweats and a robe on. We walk in our bedroom and he starts swatting me with it. I thought he was playing at first. They were light swats and OK I'm still fully dressed with robe on. I kept  saying stop and putting my hand back there I was afraid he was gonna get my back. He kept saying be still and move your hand. I wasn't listening when I finally realized he wasn't playing it was to late. I was now in discipline the swats were coming in hard. YUP  I quickly realized that he was NOT playing.. Maintenance swats were over and these swats were coming down hard about to bring me in tears. Yes when I realized he wasn't playing I stopped. and assumed my position on the treasure chest .

When I know that its really maintenance or discipline  I never put my hand back there. I do say stop but I don't know where my mind is at that time lol..  I had no idea he was being serious!!!! HIJACKED I TELL YA!!!

Afterwards I said "That  was not fair you Hijacked me and that hurt!!" ( I know spankings are supposed to hurt but maintenance doesn't hurt like discipline does.)  He says "Next time you will listen huh? and be still. He said I wasn't gonna get your back."  I said "I was fully dressed you always do bare bottom." He said "I was trying to just be light since you have been good lately. but you ruined that." 

 O MAN!!! Lesson learned when there is nothing to learn.

Here's a Note to self and all my spanko gals:
When Your HOH says 3 or 4x to stop He's not playing!!!  (Ok so some of you may have already known that but I'm a blonde and apparently slow learner in the Tweed world)!!!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I can't, I can't, I JUST CAN'T!!!!

O i don't know where to begin. I know its been a week since I've blogged and I've needed to blog last week and every time I started to blog I had nothing to say!! ( I know a speechless woman?? I know and because its me who would have thought??) Anway

The last week or so feels like its been out of control!!! We were doing good on this road of TTWD (Or now I think its called Tweed in B'Mans words lol)..  We were just putting along. The spankings were coming the maintenance was coming ( I think this is what SugarAnne calls BS!!! lol) ( OK OK Yeah i read there blogs ALOT)))!!!! Anyway  things starting crashing when my mouth started running ( GASP you say a womans mouth runs??) Well apparently Tyler forgot that women have mouths that run freely at times.  Well He says I was spending to much time on the Internet blogging... OF course I have to argue the fact that i'm not blogging I'm reading. Blogging is when I write something and I hadn't been writing I been reading. Tyler seems to think that blogging is blogging and reading is blogging!!! OK OK Blind rod made its point. Blogging= reading and posting GOT IT


So then were to this little thing called my freely running mouth again!!! So my oldest son that i like to call my trial and error (Which my trial and error is a pretty good kid) Ok trial and error has a free  running mouth too. I Have no idea where it came from hmmm?? Where o where ok.. Anyway back on track here. So  I butted in a few times and that really pissed Tyler off.. Ok in my defense I thought if I wasn't yelling it would be ok to but in if I said "Honey (In my sweet voice) thats not what he meant and no he doesnt." Well apparently it doesnt matter which way you butt in butting in is butting in. Well Tyler freely ran his mouth and said a few things that hurt not verbally abuse just swearing and yelling at me OUCH!!! Well i spent a week having poor me syndrome. Yes he let me know Poor me OUCH!!! again. Sooo it was really bad by Friday but my bro-in law (Sisters husband) had open heart surgery and I had all there grandkids here so the kids could be at the hospital. so no time for discipline or maintenance. 

The weekend got worse felt like my marriage was going back to the old NOOOOOOOOO!!! I felt so distant from him.. OOO its that darn poor me. Well Finally monday We settled down i got my maintenance and he made a VERYYYY Good point about EVERYTHING with the STICK!! and all seems to be floating a little better!! Over the last week I have learned.. Ok are you listening girls because this is good lessons and once again I'll take one for the Spanko Team!!! lol

Lessons learned:
1)Blogging is posting and reading
2) Butting in is NOT just yelling its talking nicely too
3)Interrupting your HOH when he is trying to talk especially when you got the look and the HUSH not such a good idea..

Now that's all fixed but now I have big anxiety..

I have to go back to work and I CAN"T I DON"T WANT TO I'm scared I haven't worked in over a year!!! I don't think i can be a submissive wife, Good mom, keep a clean house and work.

MY van is already a mess, I havent written anythng down and all i wanna do is crawl into bed I'm soo depressed.. Someone told me to ask for a distress spanking... Yup think I'll ask for something a little nicer :) maybe that will help...

So anyway theres my spill!!!

Please pray for me and the smoking thing SUCKING TOO!!! UGH I'm not doing well at it.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Induging in Self Pitty

These last few weeks have been rather busy and frustrating for me. I sit down to blog and everytime I do I just can't. I dont know what to say (I know a woman Especially me with nothing to say seems very odd lol)..
It seems that when i can't blog I go read someone elses blog  and each time they are talking about how TTWD or Tweed (As it seems everyones favorite word. Call it a new Trend that B'Man started lol) is not easy it doesnt solve everything. They talk about how marriage is alot of work and Tweed adds a little spice to it. Tweed can be some work in itself. I really feel like I'm indulging in self-pitty that I'm trying to do everything I can to be submissive it just seems to be getting hard these days.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Breaking a woman of wanting things her way is NOT easy!!!

I'm sitting here thinking after the incident last night where it didn't seem he cared that i wasn't writing things down. I feel i cared more. Well after one incident of him not being real consistent in like a month I'm done lol... I was sitting here thinking. Forget it. Were quitting dd I'm tired of it he doesn't take it serious. He's not doing things the right way. I'm trying hard and he's not. O were just waisting our time.. I mean I was really serious. I was in full pout mode just DONE!!! cant do it right so were done!!! lol. All because things didn't go the way I thought they should!! O BOY!! He has been taking it serious but ONE time he doesn't.  (I need a spanking for acting like this lol)

Then i was like what? You want him to lead you but you want him to do it the right way and to you the right way is YOUR WAY!!! lol. that is funny.  Ok so basically its like discipline me but do it the way I want you too!!! hahaha!!!  I always have to have control somewhere.

You know i really got to thinking though maybe he just feels like well she is trying really hard at everything else I'm just gonna let this go. To me I want him to hold me accountable but if he does he does. I think i just need to try hard at continuing to write things down and watch my smoking. If i don't do those things then one day he's gonna ask other than on Friday and I might either be in trouble or surprise him and make him happy that I'm trying to do something on our own.

I think when were in this Journey sometimes us women want to be held accountable for everything to make us do it and sometimes maybe our HOHS want to give us that little freedom to make a few little choices on our own..  Hmmm maybe?  What about it HOHS do you like us to just do it on our own because you know we can at times?


This Journey is Challenging

Well I don't know where to start.. I love our lifestyle. I love making him happy.. Sometimes its hard on me.. He has come along way and we are only 3 months in it and I realize hes further than some men  at 3 month who's wife bring them on this journey.  I'm very submissive for the most part ( i think he would agree).. I don't yell. I dont really argue I try to over discuss sometimes but I take hints and looks.. Its not because I'm scared of the spankings (ok a little) but i don want t disappoint him..

I work hard at doing what he asks me to do 
Keep the house descent
Cook more than not but not every night ( I am gone Mon-Thursday for classes)
keep my van clean and don't dirty his car when I use it.
Keeping my van clean is probably like Tammy letting her diet coke freeze but I like the rule it helps me to be a neater person.
Tyler doesn't ask me to do anything he doesn't do so  it all seems fine to me and even if it didn't I would still submit.

Now we are coming to 2 frivolous tasks.. One thing I am supposed to write down everything I spend money on.. Now Last week i did great this week I haven't written anything down since Friday.  I journaled about this Sunday and Monday telling him I don't know why I don't do it. I think the bottom line is this:
I've asked him to ask me nightly if I have written everything down and if I haven't to take care of it that night.
I want the reminder. But he doesn't take it serious to me and I guess I am not either (I know everyone says seems like a easy task well Gotta rebel somewhere right? As I'm not perfect and when your always in a hurry its not easy.. So I journaled on Sunday and Monday about not doing this and that I needed a good reminder. I showed it to him Monday so he could read it before Maintenance..

Well we had maintenance and he added some extra swats for not writing it down but it wasn't what I had in mind (I know not my way HIS way i got it lol). I been having problems that I'm not feeling it much lately afterwards my bottom is tolerating it better I guess. Well he didn't have me pull my pants down I was laying down on the bed and he swatted me with the Blind Rod I felt it threw my sweats and I feel it today but I would've felt more on bare bottom (We always do bare bottom) It just all felt like a joke to him I don't know.

Maybe it is because I'm submissive and he sees the great change in me so this isn't a big deal to him I don't know. I'm not worried to much about it. We will see what happens Friday as I am smoking to much unless I slow wayyy down now I'm gonna smoke to many packs by Friday.  I know its a challenge for us all. I know he worries about hurting me and being to hard on me. I do tell him I want him to be hard as he thinks he should be.

Hes used to the old me that would get mad at him and tell him he's to bossy but that's not me.

I guess If he wasn't worried about these things then he wouldn't be the wonderful HOH that he is. If it didn't bother him to hurt me or upset me than we would have other issues.  I am very much in love with him and no this lifestyle is what we need and want..

Thanks for listening to me go on and on..

Friday, December 3, 2010

This stranger is my husband?

There used to be a stranger in my house. Who was he?  My children called him dad. He slept in my bed. He was at my house every day.  He tried to hug me and kiss me. He told me he loved me I said it back I often wondered did I love this stranger?  Who was this stranger and why was he always around?... One day I realized I wanted to know who this stranger was.. I started talking to him. I started hugging him, saying I love you and mean it.  It seemed this stranger was feeling a void of loneliness I had for so many years..I then realized O wait that stranger is my husband of 14yrs!!!

My kids no longer call a stranger dad.  A stranger no longer sleeps in my bed.. There is no longer a stranger at my house everyday.. There is no longer a stranger trying to hug and kiss me, saying I love you and getting a half I love you back..  My HUSBAND IS HERE!!! I embrace him laying in my bed. I long for his Hugs and his Kisses.. I tell him I love him so much or a whole bunch.  He no longer has to want for me to love and embrace him because I do.

My Darling Tyler is such a wonderful man.  He has shown me unconditional love. He's loved me even when it seemed I had none to give him.  He loved me when I wanted nothing to do with him and made him feel lesser and lesser of a man as each year went on.  I'm so grateful he can move on with me even with all the hurt I have caused him.  I try very hard every day to reassure my love for him. I thank God as we pray for the wonderful strong man he gave me. I tell Tyler how lucky I am to have him. Most men would have left along time ago.

CDD has helped our marriage alot but truly the person who really saved our marriage (Besides of God of course) is my darling husband.  If it wasn't for his patience, his kindness, loving  heart, his great strength and his courage to keep moving on when all there seemed to be was darkness and coldness from the one he loved we would never be together today!!!

Thank you MY Sweet Darling HUSBAND for your unconditional love for me and our children!!! I love you so much!!! I'm so glad you stuck around and I can't wait to grow old with you and not to mention spoil our grandkids rotten tell them all the rotten things their parents did.  Fill them full of sugar and send them home!! O yes soo much fun... Yes I will ever so gratefully crawl in your wheelchair and get over your knee :)!!!

Looonggg Strange Week!!! And a Name change lol

Ok  first for the name change.. I can't do the initials anymore its driving me crazy sounds weird looks weird so were gonna just use Tyler instead of LT for my hubbies name and call it good lol...

Ok this week just seems so long and different.. O it started off on Sunday when I was sick and slept all day basically into Monday at 11Am.. The end result of that was no Sleep at ALL Monday night!!!... I've done it alot but it catches up to me quick!!! Normally by the next night I'm tired and cranky and well the end result is my rear end getting it lol!! Not this time though not then anyway..

So no sleep Monday night.. Tuesday Night I'm at home being good minding my own business when I walk in the room. Tyler is reading my text messages on my phone (that's fine I don't care he has every right and I have nothing to hide, the only problem with him reading my text messages is him jumping to conclusions) he looks at me shakes his head and puts my phone down.

I said "What?" ( I new there wasn't anything bad and I didn't erase anything either) See I used to have a really bad habit in the last 2 years of talking bad about him to my friends ALL the time and they did too. Since coming back to God and cdd Its not like that anymore. In almost 4 months I have not said 1 bad thing about him..

Anyway when I got i got home earlier I had been on the phone and I told the person I had to go ( I have to watch my phone and text time at home because I am prone to spend ALOT of time on my phone).. Well when I got in the house  he was asleep. Text goes like this.

I say "Hey i can talk he's asleep"..  Person says "Imagine that he's asleep and you have had none those hoh's" lol.. I say "Yeah and the laundry I asked him to fold isn't folded either... O well such is life"..  Ok in my translation that means this " Typical for a man to be sleeping and a woman to be running around like a chicken with her head cut off.. And O well the laundry wasn't done I don't care about the petty little things anymore lol"

His Translation is this.. "Worthless piece of crap is sleeping and didn't even do the laundry well whats new he never does anything anyway"... O BOY!!!

After explaining to him I don't and wouldn't let anyone else talk bad about him he said its fine just drop it.. Of course I kept trying to reassure him that it wasn't like that.. He didn't need to hear anymore he was fine.. I needed him to hear it. Well I dropped it and went off to bed..

He wanted to stay up and watch tv and just have some alone time... this is like 11pm still no sleep.. Ok so I didn't get to sleep till 2am because I'm thinking he's upset and I screwed up and that's why he didn't wanna come up.. Well around 130 he comes up. I told him what was bothering me and everything else that was bothering me. He cuddled me and listen to me vent as my water works are going off and somewhere in there I fell asleep..

Wed morning my friend calls at 5:30... her mom is sick and she need me to come get her son so she can be at work at 6:30.. Yay 3hrs asleep I'm doing good!!!.. So i go save the day get him and go on....

Wed is maintenance and we usually try and do that while kids were in school. Well i have friends son then work so that didn't happen... Wed night we both have class or church so its a late night everyone gets home around 9pm... Well about 11pm Tyler and I  go upstairs.  I don't know how the whole conversation got into effect but somewhere it went strange...I was proud of myself because in the past this conversation would have ended in a knock down blow out fight.. Basically in my translations he was saying I wasn't doing my part in the house work and  I know I was because I have been conscious about it.. Somewhere in there his translation of what I said came out the same he thought I was saying he didn't do anything (Stemming from the text message on Tuesday that was left unsatisfied grrr)..

The problem is we have 3 children whom are well SLOBS lol ... I go by and pick up the house and leave.. The kids come by and Tornado Henry sits in and well destroys the house in 5 min. Tyler comes in cleans it up. I come home its clean.. He is upset because I dint notice the house was clean (Well i cleaned it before I left) but he says no because it was dirty.. Anyway I explained to him what happens and that I thought he was doing fine and we had great teamwork exspecially over the weekend when I was sick and he was tired..

Well no maintenance Wed.... Well we were gonna do it Thursday and that didn't happen.. Thursday night  He was waking up from a nap when I went to bed... I text him when he went downstairs and I asked if he was using that bamboo stick for maintenance tomorrow he says "Maybe" ugh!! He loves keeping me in suspense.. I then ask "are we doing double maintenance" .. He says "yes and taking care of some other business".. I said "well at least you didn't keep me in suspense about that.." I then said "OO I wrote everything down this week and I only smoked one pack a day!!".. He says "Good for you lol"..  I said "whats funny think I'm kissing up?" He says "Yep".. I said "Is it working?" He says "nope".. I say "Can't blame a girl for trying".. lol
(I really wasn't kissing up but hey if it was gonna work thought I'd ask ... I had no Idea what the other issue was lol!!)

So anyway got my maintenance today with the bamboo stick and before he took care of his business (really i wasnt sure what his business was). He says did you say that you smoked to much or didn't write everything down"?  UMM in a fast voice NO Sir I wrote everything down and smoked only 1 pack a day!!! (UMM hey those are 2 separate offenses with 10 HARD swats!!! I didnt earn that this week).. Well his order of business is he wanted to make a point to make sure that I nor did I let anyone else talk bad about him!!!ok 10 HARD swats with the bamboo stick I got the point!!!  

So anyway theres my update....  O by the way if you want an implement that gets the point across and doesn't leave a mark and is fairly quiet its the bamboo stick.. Its good for maintenance because used lightly it doesn't hurt as bad as the loopy lol...

Looks like my other SPanko girls are being pretty good too

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Really?? Everything is NOT to be used for spanking!!! Goodness

Ok so I'm laying on the couch yesterday on my stomache (I'm not sure why I think laying on my stomache at any time is safe these days).. LT opens the front door and goes OO looky what I found.  Laying outside my door is a bamboo stick!!! Really?? Ok So who delivered that? lol.. Of course since I'm laying on my stomache it must be tried out (Now why didnt I roll over? Note to self ALWAYS lay on your back).  Yes LT gives me a swat as he's smilin and laughing!! OWWW Not funny!!! So yes we have a new implement. NICE!!! Thank you whoever left the bamboo stick lay outside my door!!!

Ok  so i got to thinking. Do we remember what items arent actually made for anymore?

These are Kitchen Utensils Meant for                                           Stirring this   or other food Items

The hair brush is used for creating art in your head not the bottom!!!

I believe the belt was made for holding up your pants!!  O looky there he has something in his hand
 Thi is a back scratcher its supposed to get rid of that pesky little Itch on your back NOT the pesky little additude the wife has!!! lol

The cane was meant for helping to assist in Walking... Not Assist in additude adjusting

While you are out in the Garage making these I'm sure that your wifey can come up with other projects that would make her house look  decorative not her back side

I just thought we might need a reminder (Well the Spanko Fellas) that these products really have other uses..

You know everything you pick up is NOT meant for Spanking!!! O and really so how come when you pick up a pillow you dont use that for spanking!! Or a piece of paper LOL!!!

Jus some little silly thoughts to share..

Hope things are going good ad my spanko gals are being good!!!