Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Road to Submission
I know we have been at TTWD for about 3yrs now. It seems in the last year with everything that has gone on in our lives and when I left the boards we just kind of put TTWD aside.. (Ok ok maybe I did.)
He has never stopped being dominant and wanting respect. He just went in and out of discipline and just lectures and I just flew around like a free bird. In this time I feel our closeness that we built the first 2yrs has gone some and we just aren't getting along like we were. Things aren't running smoothly. I know when I/We embrace TTWD then things are better.
Things have been going ok last week or so. Last night Tyler and I had an empty house and we just laid in the bask of silence talking.. (Yes only talking lol were old) Funny thing is while we were home alone it really was the first time that I didn't feel I needed a spanking or that we needed any affirmation or reminder spanking. Although had he done it then that would've been hot and exciting lol.
Anyway while talking to him I realized I have done a lot of worrying about what he hasn't done for me etc instead of worrying about what I can do for him. This made me feel bad. He's right I been so worried about what he was and wasn't doing and I forgot to worry about myself.
So I'm on my own little road to submission. I used to write in a journal when we first started TTWD so now maybe I will use the board for that. I want to focus more on being submissive I want to be the submissive that I really fantasize about being. I know I always say he doesn't embrace the spanking and stuff like I do .I think he does but I think he wants me to show him that this is what I really want.
So I'm going to work more on showing him love, attention and do more special things for him on a daily basis show him I do embrace him..
So this is where all my blogger friends come in handy I need help lol..
I want to come up with things I can do special for him daily. Rubbing his feet, leave him notes. I do make a plate for his dinner and take it to him. I know he likes that because he commented when I didn't do it for a while.. Hmm maybe kneel by him to talk to him??
Anyway if anyone has suggestions or ideas they would be greatly appreciated. I am going to try and put a border around that poem I wrote "The Submissive Her" and get it laminated.
So spill away lol. any and all ideas are appreciated thank you