Ok so don't you hate it when you find yourself doing what you tell your kids not to? My Oldest is constantly telling me what the other 2 are doing wrong and I'm always saying "You need to look at yourself first and don't worry about them!!"
I also tell married couples that when they come to me with problems "Disclaimer I"m not a marriage counselor or any type of counselor for that matter, but with 17yrs of marital experience under my belt, well I can give advise" I think its very important that we fix ourselves and everything will fall into place.. That is very wise advise If I do say so myself !! But guess what? Just Guess?? Yup you guessed it. It does not pertain to me its only for everyone else!!! LOL
Ok seriously Tyler and I Have been at this for almost 3yrs. I Have to say our first 6 months were really good he was consistent and we just had a groove and then it all fell apart. We go back and forth with it. He's consistent then he doesn't care or so i think he doesn't. we have talks. I Tell him what I want but hmmm as I'm writing this I don't think he's ever really said what he wants. Hmmm when he says "Its not all about you Daisy" and I think "What nothing is ever about me? Are you kidding?" Maybe it is about me. Maybe I found something that makes me really click and I really like and I really need it and i just want it to go the way I think it should..
I don't do the things for him that I did in the beginning. The little things that make him feel special.. I realized that the other day and started doing it. I also realized I have to keep in mind set and that's hard. almost a year ago Tyler and I agreed that I should quit some boards I was on and then when i wanted to go back he said no.. Then over the last few months I really started reading blogs more. He is ok with blogs. When I started reading more and participating in them things have changed.. I've been working harder at being submissive. I've been telling him sorry when i realize i was disrespectful.. NO I'm not saying sorry over his knee I just say sorry.
He's very dominant he expects respect and for me to do what he asked. If I step out of line he doesn't always spank when I think he should or be consistent like I think he should but he does lecture and tell me how disappointed he is.. However when I sit and ponder over the last 2 months he has been more consistent but I've been more submissive. Maybe he has a point I want this lifestyle if its my way. If its not my way then See ya Later I"m doing what I want!! Hmmm..
Ok Counseling myself time is over lol Funny when you put things into words it comes into perspective.
Hmm I guess I have alot of pondering to do.. I have alot of changing to work on. I have alot of proving to him I want this life style and I need it. I think maybe were exactly where we need to be because I am happy. He is in charge.. I think I need to walk through my front door. Brush my day away and work on being the submissive little wife I want to be and the one my hubs wants.
Thanks for listening and any advise is great especially from other Hoh's or Tops or anyone!!