So my friend Susie and her Hoh blogged questions and answers. Oneof the questions asked was:
"My wife has a very strong personality. Stronger than mine actually. I want to help her to mellow out some and defer to me but don't want her to feel like she's losing her personality. I read some posts today and see that you tell your wife to be herself. How do you balance allowing her to be herself (my wife says Susie is feisty like she is) and still help her to become more submissive to you?"
The one part of the question that got me was "My wife has a very strong personality. Stronger than mine actually."
I feel like that is Tyler and I as well. I have a very take charge personality and I have often said to my friends " I feel hes not strong enough to take me on" OOO man that is an awful response I know.
Well then Her Hohs answer really got me thinking. His answer was:
"Susie is as feisty as the little girl in the Verizon Wireless commercials…and has the same issue. I’ve thought quite a bit about it, and what I eventually came up with was this: if she really in her heart wants to be a submissive wife where I am the leader in our marriage, then she is the one that wants to change and tone down some of those feistier characteristics. It is my job to help her round off the sharper edges and channel some of that attitude into areas which help our marriage and our family."
There is more to the answer than that but this was what hit me. Yes I want to be submissive and at times I feel I do all the work but in reality I do NOT. I work on it for a little bit but then i feel when he is not helping me round off those sharper edges then he doesn't care. When i feel he doesn't care I go on fly around like the free bird I am minding my own business getting more mad at him for not helping me but in reality he may have let one thing go and so I think hes isn't trying and so then i don't care.
So how am I showing him that I want to be a submissive wife and him the leader? The answer is I'm not. I want him to show me that he is the big boss. Why cant i just except that he is in charge so that our marriage and house runs smoother because when I am submissive and do my very best that's when our house runs smoother.