I just want to say

                                                                  






 






That's all I had to say. Its my blog and I just had to say it out loud. Because If I put it on Face Book or something then I would get 100 text or messages  asking
        





Then I would have to say







                                          





No I wouldn't really but  if you did

                                           

                                    
                                           


I would love you forever and give


                                            




Love the Care Bears and I kept finding cute pics so of course I had to keep going!!!

Spanking Good Weekend

             

On my way home Friday I text Tyler

" If we get alone time this weekend I could use some attention on my back side. I feel my attitude veering off."

His reply "I'm pretty sure we can arrange that."

"Thank you Sir"

I smiled and went on about my evening.

Well I wasn't sure if he would follow through with it. I thought he might. It seems when I'm doing my best things fall in order.

Friday night we hung out with neighbors. I know he did that just for me because well we are both home bodies and him especially.

when we went inside I was up getting ready for bed. The boys were at friends and our daughter was out playing. I had just realized we were alone and I started rethinking.

 "Asking him for a spanking wasn't such a bright idea" lol!!  I know we want one thing and when it comes down to it really we don't lol.

                                                  


Tyler didn't give me much time to think. He walked in the room grabbed me and bent me over the bed.. Our daughter had the back scratcher out earlier that day so he grabbed it and went to town. (Thanks daughter).

He always lectures during a spanking. He brought things up that I didn't think about.  It was exactly what I needed

All weekend he threatened to spank me.  One time I couldn't keep from laughing, It was late Tyler was laying in bed and I was helping our son look for something. (Ok Tyler is the finder in our house not me. I know I'm a woman and should be but I truly suck at it.)  Anyway Tyler told me where it was because he just used it. I couldn't see it.  In my defense it was hiding.

I asked Tyler to go get it. he said "If I go down and find it where I told you it  was I'm beating your ass with the paddle."

I was trying not to laugh because that's silly to spank me cus I cant find something. lol of course I didn't tell him that. I did love the dominance of the whole situation..

Yes he found it where he said it was but me being short it was hidden and I couldn't see it honestly.  he did come up and gave me a couple swats with the backscratcher when he got back in bed.

Not exactly Rated R maybe more like PG 18 lol

 Tyler has told me several times it would be nice if I just came up and gave him a BJ and took care of him no sex. On Saturday the kids were at my parents.  Well I was cleaning and I wanted to go in there and give him a BJ  but for some reason I felt shy . I'm really not a BJ fan and he gets one every time we have sex. Anyway I finally went over and knelt down to him and asked him if he wanted one.

"Not now the kids will be home soon." He was chuckling (I know he knows its hard for me.)

"I called my mom the kids haven't left yet" I smiled  "Don't I always cross my T's and Dot my I's" I smiled at him

He chuckled "Yes you do, and since you did so much preparing go for it."

We ended up having sex but I had no intentions of it. Just so were all clear I didn't start sex. He's the one who picked me up and threw me on the chair!! lol. (It seems so unnatural and exciting to have sex anywhere in the house)

I was proud of myself for doing that for him because I know he was happy. All in all we had the best weekend we have had for a while!!


                        

Drop Kick the TV

This isn't about spanking just my every day life

4yrs ago when Tyler and I moved into the place were in now he agreed with me no tv in our room.  Well as time went on some how a tv got placed in our room and he started watching movies in there. We had no cable just a dvd player and movies.  Well he likes scarey movies and I do not. I would be trying to sleep and hear girls screaming and saws going etc ugh!! Well I decided that if I got cable put in our room maybe I wouldn't have to hear the screaming and he would spank more because of the noise we could turn it up.

Well the horror movies stopped but it didn't help the spanking lol..  Then he is a night owl and so am I but I need sleep. He can go to bed at 2am and get up at 5 am but I can NOT. You want to know why he can do that because if the kids don't have sports going on he comes home and sleeps till 8 or 9 pm guess what I CAN NOT!!! lol

So anyway we have talked and talked about turning the tv off so I can sleep. I don't think that asking him to turn the tv off at midnight is a big deal. I mean it is midnight and we are not teenagers anymore. Cripe I'm not in my 20's anymore and he's not even in his 30's anymore!!! We need sleep. Well at times he will turn the tv off  and sometimes he wont. Its just till I go to sleep then once i'm asleep he can turn it back on.

Well lastnight I was laying down to go to sleep and he came in.

I said "Your turning the tv on aren't your?"

"Yes I had it off lastnight. I need the tv to sleep we need to compromise."

"Well I don't feel its really a compromise area because its for my health I need sleep. I already fight energy issues as it is."

" I know you do I guess I'm an ass"

Ok so I just have to laugh because when he says I make him feel like crap and he feels like an ass when he does bla bla then OK stop doing that!!!  I mean I'm just saying. Of course I don't just say it out loud to him.


 I run an office and I work by myself most of the day. Its hard sitting at the computer and keeping energy. Plus I fight insomnia and when I reach a certain point like 2am I cant sleep. 

I started sighing and heeving and whatever noises I could make and flopping around the bed because I was annoyed and couldn't sleep.Finally at 2 am he turns the TV off!!! Well guess what people??  Its tooo late. I hit the point of no return. It is now 2 am and my body has given up on sleep. Sooo 4 am rolls around and that's the last I saw the time.

Guess who was laying next to me snoring!! Yup Tyler GAH!!!

I'm sooo tempted at times to take the tv out of our room while hes gone and see what he says.  I just don't think hes being fair. Like I told him if he needed to sleep and couldn't with the tv on I wouldn't  be in there with the tv because he's rude. When he allow it anyway?? Umm yeah probably not..

I really don't know what this post was about. I guess just to throw it out there and be real.

Be really annoyed at my husband and be ready to drop kick the TV!!!!

Road to Submission

I have done a lot of thinking, a lot of pondering.

Unconditional Love

I have the most wonderful man in the world. I  don't think I have shared much of our road before DD on my blog some of you know anyway that's for another day.  Tyler has shown me unconditional love and when you see unconditional its so hard to pay it back.

I spend a lot of time feeling sorry for everything that I do and feeling like Tyler leaves me out. But honestly I don't go that extra mile like I used to. I guess because I feel he doesn't work as hard as I do. Man I throw a lot of blame his way. I always feel like I need him and I want him and I do but in the same since I gotta give him something to want and need.


This says it perfectly







 

So now I'm on a mission. I'm on a mission to be that woman he wants and needs. I know as I do all this it will fall into place.

So I'm on my own little road to submission. I used to write in a journal when we first started TTWD so now maybe I will use the blog for that. I want to focus more on being submissive  I want to be the submissive that I really fantasize about being. I know I always say he doesn't embrace the spanking and stuff like I do .I think he does but I think he wants me to show him that this is what I really want.


So I'm going to work more on showing him love, attention and do more special things for him on a daily basis show him I do embrace him..

So this is where all my blogger friends come in handy I need help lol..


I want to come up with things I can do special for him daily. Rubbing his feet, leave him notes. I do make a plate for his dinner and take it to him. I know he likes that because he commented when I didn't do it for a while.. Hmm maybe kneel by him to talk to him??

Anyway if anyone has suggestions or ideas they would be greatly appreciated. I am going to try and put a border around that poem I wrote "The Submissive Her" and get it laminated.

So spill away lol. any and all ideas are appreciated thank you




Road to Submission

I know we have been at TTWD for about 3yrs now. It seems in the last year with everything that has gone on in our lives and when I left the boards we just kind of put TTWD aside.. (Ok ok maybe I did.)

 He has never stopped being dominant and wanting respect. He just went in and out of discipline and just lectures and I just flew around like a free bird. In this time I feel our closeness that we built the first 2yrs has gone some and we just aren't getting along like we were. Things aren't running smoothly. I know when I/We embrace TTWD then things are better.

Things have been going ok last week or so. Last night Tyler and I had an empty house and we just laid in the bask of silence talking..  (Yes only talking lol were old)  Funny thing is while we were home alone it really was the first time that I didn't feel I needed a spanking or that we needed any affirmation or reminder spanking. Although had he done it then that would've been hot and exciting lol.

Anyway while talking to him I realized I have done a lot of worrying about what he hasn't done for me etc instead of worrying about what I can do for him. This made me feel bad. He's right I been so worried about what he was and wasn't doing and I forgot to worry about myself.

So I'm on my own little road to submission. I used to write in a journal when we first started TTWD so now maybe I will use the board for that. I want to focus more on being submissive  I want to be the submissive that I really fantasize about being. I know I always say he doesn't embrace the spanking and stuff like I do .I think he does but I think he wants me to show him that this is what I really want.

So I'm going to work more on showing him love, attention and do more special things for him on a daily basis show him I do embrace him..

So this is where all my blogger friends come in handy I need help lol..


I want to come up with things I can do special for him daily. Rubbing his feet, leave him notes. I do make a plate for his dinner and take it to him. I know he likes that because he commented when I didn't do it for a while.. Hmm maybe kneel by him to talk to him??

Anyway if anyone has suggestions or ideas they would be greatly appreciated. I am going to try and put a border around that poem I wrote "The Submissive Her" and get it laminated.

So spill away lol. any and all ideas are appreciated thank you

The Submissive Her

The Submissive Her

I know I rarely show Her. You say I don’t want to be Her. But I do want to be Her.

Perhaps she is buried so deep I can’t find Her.

I will find Her, I will work hard and show Her to you.

I want you to have control and take care of me. I belong to you and I want you to own me.

Maybe I need to learn who She is.

I'll learn how to give Her to you.

I'll to learn how to let Her out.

I know what She  is, but maybe I don’t know who She  is, to be Her.

 But I know when I embrace Her, it works, we work.

I'll learn to give into Her and show you that’s who I am. I know you love me, but I also know you appreciate Her more,

The Submissive HER

The one who cares about all Your needs, the one who puts You first, the one who supports You to the end, the one who respects You.

I know the submissive Her is better for us and I know that our lives are better when I let Her in. I will embrace Her, I will let Her in.  Here’s my Oath to you:

My Oath To You, My Love, My Life, My Dom

I shall embrace Her, live Her, breathe Her

and show you Her with all my heart and soul.

I shall work hard so that Her and I become one and One alone.

I shall become Her and Her I. We shall be one with You.

We shall be

The Dom and The Submissive

Flabbergasted

Is Flabbergasted a word? Hold I will google it because you know if its on the internet its the truth!!! Lol
Thats a commercial if you all dont know

Ok I found it. There were alot of definitions but we will keep it simple

flabbergasted

Meaning:

As if struck dumb with astonishment and surprise

Synonyms:

dumbfounded; dumbstricken; dumbstruck; dumfounded; flabbergasted; stupefied; thunderstruck

I was reading a blog that I used to read all the time and was crusing around and found  this post. I got to know this couple pretty well and others may too. However I loved loved loved Christophers respone in that post. I just dont understand some people!! 

Do some people not realize that they probably have a DD friend or 2? I mean if my friends were cruising around and found DD on the web they would probably think the same as some "OOO He must be a monster, these woman are brain washed." And all the while they dont realize that someone that practices DD is sitting right next to them hahaha!!

I"m not saying DD woman arent abused because some are just like non-dd woman. However an abusing husband, boy friend, whatever does not need spanking as an excuse to abuse a woman. I mean seriously people!!!

I did share DD with a few friends and one i shared my blog with. after reading my blog he came back and had a few questions.I think I've shared this before. He knows Tyler and I well and saw me everyday. He asked me if I was abused and scared of Tyler.. I said "Do I look abused, do i seem scared of Tyler?" I mean Tyler and I go back and forth teasing eachother. I'm a VERY INdependent strong willed Woman. 

As Christopher says in his post "Ella would get along just fine with out me."  Thats how I am with Tyler. I can totally take care of myself and I have for years. WHen I brought DD up to Lee and he took over. I felt free.. WHen I'm holding the reigns and calling more shots I hate it!! I hate it!! I hate it.. I have taken care of myself pretty much since I was 12yrs old. I'm the youngest of 6. Yes my parents were wonderful parents and always there for me but by the time I was 16 my mom was 50. She was tired from raising kids. My parents and I took care of eachother.

WHen Tyler and I married I took care of him then a baby then another baby and everyone elses baby and another baby of my own.. I dont like it..

My job I have i work with soon to be 3 men and I take care of them!! I love love love my job but sometimes I loathe ALLL my responsibilty. I have to remember things for 7 soon to be 8 people!! I have to do things and take care of 8 people!!.

So when TYler is in  full swing (Pun intended) Of this TTWD I feel free!!!