Monday, October 28, 2013

I feel so complicated sometimes. I have lots of insecurities  with Tyler and friends.

My insecurities make me build walls. I haven't built walls in a few years especially when it comes to Tyler. It seems lately though as soon as he tells me that he was upset with something I did or it bothered him I instantly put up a wall and feel like a failure.

I do the same with friends. I try and answer text and phone calls right away if I cant I'm working but it rarely happens. When I get used to talking to someone daily then something strange happens I build a wall. I feel like something is wrong. I feel like they are tired of me and I'm too much. I feel like I'm High Maintenance.


                                                            I HATE IT

I hate feeling insecure, I hate feeling needy,

Its really hard on me because once I build these walls I  look for everything to be wrong. Even though everyone tells me everything is ok I still feel its wrong. Things never seem to go back to normal.

I have too many voices in my head. I guess I want to feel wanted and when I start feeling wanted then I dont feel at all. I dont know. I am not sure what to feel or think anymore.

4 comments:

  1. I sooo wish you could have
    the kinda accident I had [NDE]
    THEN! you'd know our lifelong
    demise is only a litmus test
    to see which direction we'll
    fly at our General Judgement.
    Check-this-out:

    Yes, earthling, Im an NDE
    so I actually know God exists:
    He rewards those who HONOR n RESPECT
    Him and strive to follow His Laws;
    for those who wanna know what
    Seventh-Heaven holds for your
    indelible, magnificent soul whom
    God has so carefully crafted:

    Find-out what RCIA means and join.
    [denying Hell will not prevent U.S.
    from falling INTO Hellfire, child]

    Jesus is the Just Judge.
    He only 'reads' what OUR past,
    mortal lifetime consisted of;
    I'd also strongly urge you to read
    'Lui et moi' by Gabrielle Bossis
    (a French writer, translated, into
    crystal-clear, 100,000W-GE-prose -
    a must have for anyone who's
    growin-UP in our predestined
    relationship determined by YOU).

    Make Your Choice -SAW
    trustNjesus.
    ALWAYS.
    God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Above all, preserve an INTENSE love for each other for love covers many a sin' -1 Peter 4:8

      Q: is sex allowed in Seventh-Heaven?
      A: does the HUGE universe need people?
      Q: is sex allowed in Hellfire?
      A: if you get past the awwwFULL stench,
      the heat,
      the terror,
      the utter decay,
      the thirst,
      the torment,
      the Fuggly creatures...
      how mucha wanna betcha
      satan's never gonna letcha??

      Make Your Choice  -SAW
      trustNjesus, child.
      ALWAYS.
      God bless your indelible soul.

      Delete
    2. 'Above all, preserve an INTENSE love for each other for love covers many a sin' -1 Peter 4:8

      Q: is sex allowed in Seventh-Heaven?
      A: does the HUGE universe need people?
      Q: is sex allowed in Hellfire?
      A: if you get past the awwwFULL stench,
      the heat,
      the terror,
      the utter decay,
      the thirst,
      the torment,
      the Fuggly creatures...
      how mucha wanna betcha
      satan's never gonna letcha??

      Make Your Choice  -SAW
      trustNjesus, child.
      ALWAYS.
      God bless your indelible soul.

      Delete
  2. I sooo wish you could have
    the kinda accident I had [NDE]
    THEN! you'd know our lifelong
    demise is only a litmus test
    to see which direction we'll
    fly at our General Judgement.
    Check-this-out:

    Yes, earthling, Im an NDE
    so I actually know God exists:
    He rewards those who HONOR n RESPECT
    Him and strive to follow His Laws;
    for those who wanna know what
    Seventh-Heaven holds for your
    indelible, magnificent soul whom
    God has so carefully crafted:

    Find-out what RCIA means and join.
    [denying Hell will not prevent U.S.
    from falling INTO Hellfire, child]

    Jesus is the Just Judge.
    He only 'reads' what OUR past,
    mortal lifetime consisted of;
    I'd also strongly urge you to read
    'Lui et moi' by Gabrielle Bossis
    (a French writer, translated, into
    crystal-clear, 100,000W-GE-prose -
    a must have for anyone who's
    growin-UP in our predestined
    relationship determined by YOU).

    Make Your Choice -SAW
    trustNjesus.
    ALWAYS.
    God bless you.

    ReplyDelete