Working out the details

I have been meaning to post for weeks so i have alot to talk about but haven't decided yet if I will have one post or 2.

First off the last time I posted I posted about a little frustration I had with Tyler and how i think things should go.. Well he lets things go and go and go.. I found myself growing into old habits (which I'd rather not share at this point) I was feeling upset because when he lets things go it puts a wall between us because He gets frustrated I get frustrated.. I start to feel like ooo he wants me to walk all these lines and follow all these rules but he just wants to lecture..

It didn't matter how many times we talked about it. I journaled about it. I texted to him about it and I talked to him about it. He agreed and saw my point of view. He decided things would change but yet he didn't.

It gets very frustrating because I feel like I'm doing all the work in TTWD and he is getting all the glories. I hate when I get in this funk and I know i shouldn't. i try and walk the line but it gets hard. 

Well he finally put this whole thing to an end and gave me the spanking I needed/ deserved/ we needed... It was rough but it worked... I felt like it put us back together and I put my old habits to a halt and realized what i was doing.

it just gets hard because were in this routine. He is strict and has expectations and if i don't follow them he just lectures gets disappointed and i try to reel myself in alone.. I tell him i need reeled in but he seems not to want to be bothered.. Then finally after a month or so he's thrue with it and then I get a spanking of my life and were back to normal again.. It sucks because the spanking is harsh and i feel if he would take care of things more it wouldn't have to be so harsh.. This last time it took longer than usual because i had a GIANT wall built up which normally never happens..

Anyway you would think after 2yrs we would be more into things.. I don't know I just trust him and know i need to settle myself down.