Friday, November 15, 2013

Flatulence = Spanking ??

                                    
                                          


Tyler hates when I fart in front of him. Lol I don't just fart in front of anyone but come on we been married 18yrs. I don't do it all the time.  If we are laying in bed watching tv he wants me to go to the bathroom to fart.  I get up and go to the bathroom and I can't fart!! So I go lay back down and there it is again!!! So I go back to the bathroom and nothing AGAIN!!  I lay back down and there it is. So I just give up and fart!!


                                       


"Hey" He says

" My stomach hurt and I was trying to go to the bathroom to fart and it kept going away. You fart all the time why can't I?"

"It's Not lady like" 
      
 "O Phooey if ladies didn't fart we would explode too!!"

"Ha I think it should be a spankable offense!! Maybe I should ask other HoH'S or you ask your friends."

"O for Pete's sake you can not spank me for farting!!"  We both laughed but then he stopped laughing and trying to be all serious

"Hey I can spank you for whatever I want"  Then he reached behind the bed where the arsenal is. (that's what I like calling it) 

I quickly grabbed his arm "Yes yes you can but I don't need spanked now and I don't need spanked for farting."

 We went on to a different subject.

So do you think that Flatulence should be a spankable offense?
Remembers who's friend you are when you answer that question!! Lol   

yup this has occurred at my house but I didn't do the farting
                                                 

Monday, November 11, 2013

Welcome Lurkers Come say hello!!



                                                    


If you don't know what L8L day is 
Its the 8th annual Love our Lurkers day.  We are celebrating you our Lurkers.     Thank you Bonnie for hosting L8L Day!!




I met one of my bestfriend on the blogs. She never had a blog and she was a lurker she read but never replied.  One day she decided to send me an e-mail. Now 3yrs later we have met in person and talk and text all the time.. Now I'm not saying that you have to e-mail me and become my bf lol.. I'm just saying that you never know what you will get if you just jump in!!

I will tell you just a little about me I'm a mom of 3 kids. My husband spanks me for punishment and for fun. We have been married 17yrs and doing ttwd for 3yrs!!

I enjoy writing spanking fiction. If you stick around long enough you will see I have some surprises up my sleeve


Now maybe you can tell me a little about you or just simply say hello!!

                                   
                                           
                                 

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Picking up the pieces

First I want to say thanks for all the prayers, thoughts and hugs I really appreciate it.

Thursday was her funeral and it went well. Tyler and my oldest son were in the front carrying the casket. That meant so much to me.


 Her sister was driving us all crazy but that was to be expected. She has her own issues. It really did bother me though because I know her and I knew their relationship and her cries were out of so much guilt.

My cousin and I used to talk about how her sister and my oldest sister were alike. They never really come around unless they want something or if they could say "look at me look what I'm doing."  Like if someone was sick and they may not have helped at all but maybe once and they make sure EVERYONE knows it lol..

Anyway it was actually comforting because I know as I was rolling my eyes so was my cousin. It was sort of an inside thing and comforted me at the funeral. May sound mean and odd but ya know.

At the funeral I didn't cry much. When the friends went out and it was only family my cousins mother-in-law broke down.  My cousins husband was comforting her and he was looking at me. I was trying not to break down but I couldn't help it. He said "don't cry your going to make me cry"   We were all just trying to march through..  Her brother-in-law played the guitar and her niece sang during the service. It was very nice.

After we got home I was making dinner and I saw tuna. It reminded me of the tuna dinner she made and the kids loved so I still make it.. When I make tuna casserole I normally use cream of mushroom soup with tuna and peas or green beans. She always just made mac and cheese, threw in tuna and peas and there ya go!!.  Anyway then I started thinking when or if her husband remarries will I like her? ( I know jumping ahead)  Once I thought that I just broke down because I said to myself "Its not her Its not my girl, Its not the same"

I was trying to keep it together and make dinner and fold clothes.   I finally had to go in the bedroom where Tyler was. The light was off and he said "why are you breathing heavy?"

I collapsed on the bed  and bawled into Tyler's chest and said "She's gone, Shes really gone." I didn't think I was going to quit crying. I finally thought I was done and went to check dinner but then my oldest was walking up the stairs and I started crying again. He threw his arms around me and let me cry on his chest. I even got tears on his sweat shirt.

After that I felt better. like I said I hadn't really cried. I think the funeral finalized it for me. A friend also said I was probably in shock before my grieving period.  After those cries I pulled it together the rest of the night.

My Cousins husband text me and asked if I thought the funeral went good and  if I thought she would like it. I told him it went great, Her closest friends and family were there and thats what was important to her. I also thanked him  for letting Tyler and my oldest carry the casket it meant alot.  He said he wouldn't have it any other way.  I told him  I know she would love that and really she would be super excited that Tyler was carrying her. We both laughed. (It was always an inside flirty thing lol)


Yesterday though I wasn't doing well when I was alone driving. I called my sister both times I just needed to talk to her. Poor thing she didn't know what to say but she listened to me cry and ramble.

I was starting to feel bad because I hadn't seen her for a while. I started looking back at our text ( I saved them to my phone) As I looked back when we tried to get together it just never worked out and it was her that always had something come up. As I read through I realized she knew I loved and cared for her alot. That's what is important to me that she knew how much she meant to me. So as I move on yes I wish for one more day but one more day is not going to change a thing.  She still is going to know that I love her and nothing will change that.

Now I am just going to make sure I stay in her kids lives. Her daughter is 15 she still has some road ahead of her. I made sure she had my number and knew I am and always will be here for her no matter what.

Thank you for letting me share and open up. I normally don't open up much on my blog. I just needed to get it out.

I will march on now and leave you with this

                         What your friendship means to me 
       
         We watched each other have babies, We watched them grow together
                       We walked each other through marital bliss 
                       We walked each other through children saga
         We planned birthday parties, baby showers and wedding showers together.
                      We cried together, laughed together and broke down together
         We picked each other up even when we could barely carry ourselves.
                      We griped with each other and at times at each other
         We grew a friendship that we never knew would mean so much
With each tear we wiped, with each heartache and laughter  we gave each other a piece of our hearts
          We didn't know what this friendship would ever mean 
 For me it means I got to know and love you and build a friendship that never ends.
           Some don't know your smile or your laugh
           Some don't know your heartaches or your deepest secrets but I do. 
Some don't know what a wonderful sweet and loving person you were but you know me I will tell them.
            Some day I will see you again, for that day I can't wait
I know you will be there waiting for me with your beautiful smile on your face
             I will get to hug you and hear your laugh again.
Until then I will remember you, I will mourn for you and ache for you.
             I will always love and remember you 
 My sweet sweet cousin and friend xoxoxoxo



Thank you for reading and sorry if the post is blotchy. I'm a writer not an editor  :)

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Dropping in with some sadness

Hi guys I was going to post about something funny and post about my secret but life threw me a curve ball, Well more like smashed me into a brick wall.

My cousin was 34 yrs old and lost her life. She was sick for a while but it was kind of a shock. I know she's in a better place. Tomorrow we lay her to rest and then pick up the pieces.  I haven't seen her much in a while but we talked and still were very close.  For about 7 or 8 yrs we were together all the time. I watched her kids every day. She had my boys when I had my daughter and my oldest missed his mom so she snuggled him all night.  Our families were close we did lots of things together.  I'm thankful for the awesome memories I had with her.  

When we would go a little while without talking or texting we would always say

"I love you, and miss you,"

"me too"

"I know you know,  You know I know. I love you to pieces!!"
We would say that at the same time then laugh!!


My first memory of you is funny as was the rest of our life.
I dropped you on your head but did not pick you up. Back then we were 5
When we were in our 20's if I ever dropped you on your head I would have picked you up
You picked me up so many times. I would like to think I did the same. My memories of you are fond
and sweet. You told me once if you ever wanted the truth you would ask me. Thats what you loved the most about me. We always said "People either love me or hate me." You said you would always love me. I will always love you.  I feel sad at the times we didn't meet up over the past few years or the times you called and I was too depressed. I'm not dwelling on those times because I know you forgave me. I know you understood. We have wonderful years of memories of Christmas and birthdays with just our little families. We always made it special. Just the hubs and the kids. We have many years of serious and fun talks. I cherish the years that you were a big part of my life. I cherish you taking care of the kids like they were your own. Snuggling with my son who missed his mommy while I was having my little girl.  The times I'm dwelling on is when you made me feel so special.

I saved all your text to my phone. The last text from you is my favorite because it quotes our friendship our love.

Me: Hey you I miss you
You: Sorry I have a  new phone and do not have all my contacts in , who is this please?

Me" Lol should I give you a hint? Lets see I love you to death, our moms were cousins and bfs and so are we :)

You: Whats Up girl I miss you too and you know it!! How have you been?

Thats my fav part "AND you know it!!"   We loved to say "You know I know , I know You know I love you!!!

I love you forever girl to the end of the earth and back. Tomorrow I lay you to rest and it will be so real. More real than I want. I think right now its nice to think your home and I'm home and your a phone call away.  The truth is I can't pick up the phone when I'm missing you. I guess though I can just talk to you right there. I know you are watching me and I'm sure shaking your head a time or 2!!  Hey now you know my one secret I never got around to telling you!!

I'm not mad at you for dying. I know you are in a better place. The last few years of your life have been rough but now your healthy and happy!!  Give your mom a big huge hug for me, give my grandma a big hug, Tell my grandpa I miss him sooo much and tell him all about my kids!!

I love you girl now you can watch over all of our kids at once!!  Send me little secrets about the kids ok?


Monday, October 28, 2013

I feel so complicated sometimes. I have lots of insecurities  with Tyler and friends.

My insecurities make me build walls. I haven't built walls in a few years especially when it comes to Tyler. It seems lately though as soon as he tells me that he was upset with something I did or it bothered him I instantly put up a wall and feel like a failure.

I do the same with friends. I try and answer text and phone calls right away if I cant I'm working but it rarely happens. When I get used to talking to someone daily then something strange happens I build a wall. I feel like something is wrong. I feel like they are tired of me and I'm too much. I feel like I'm High Maintenance.


                                                            I HATE IT

I hate feeling insecure, I hate feeling needy,

Its really hard on me because once I build these walls I  look for everything to be wrong. Even though everyone tells me everything is ok I still feel its wrong. Things never seem to go back to normal.

I have too many voices in my head. I guess I want to feel wanted and when I start feeling wanted then I dont feel at all. I dont know. I am not sure what to feel or think anymore.

Hey There

Hey guys I just wanted to drop a note to everyone. Seems October became a busy month for me. I went on an unexpected but fun vacation for 6days.  I was on vacation with a DD friend so of course we kept our eyes peeled for any fun tools.. Ok I will try and update more soon and OO yes my Surprise is almost ready!! Yay!!!   Ok enjoy the pictures below

So this is why the following items are needed

This was used in pottery by the Indians. Hmm easy for the Indian to say "Come here WOMAN!!"

Really they have useful kid toys

this was found in a store by the Hillbilly stuff!! I'm sure these were meant for naughty wives

This is how big the Indians spoons were. Ok can you imagine bending over for that?? Those would make you go flying

This is probably why all those above items are necessary  because woman make shirts like this.



Saturday, October 12, 2013

Update on us

I just wanted to let everyone know Tyler and I are doing ok.

Thank you for your replies and concerns.  We are going through some kind of growth spurt lol . It for a lack of better words.  Also I want to clear up when I said Tyler was shutting me out I just meant at that moment. Yes I was worried it would be longer because he said "When you learn to be totally submissive you can come back to my bed." I knew that would be a LONG time.

Anyway it was just that night. From time to time he will use the punishment of making me sleep on the couch because he knows how much that gets to me. I have to be touching him to sleep.  Well he fell asleep and I came up to bed. I really hated to get into bed without asking him. However our son and his friends were all down stairs and when I sleep on couch our daughter gets upset because she thinks were going to divorce like everyone else. (Her words)

Anyway he didn't say anything about it and we talked that day. I have some learning to do and we have gone back wards in some ways but in some ways we are moving forward.  I really think this hurdle is good for us. We have been doing ttwd for 3yrs however we took about a 1 1/2 yrs off. We did it off and on and neither of us really tried. I was going through alot of grief and he was laid off we just weren't in a good place.  Now were in a good place. We are both very serious about our rolls well him more than me at times I think. So now we have to work through working through ya know?

So that's that. We are doing good and working through. I may have over reacted when I posted and it wasn't meant to be a bash on him at all but I needed to get some feelings out and I was hurt.  I'm doing ok now just have a busy weekend.

Hugs and thanks again.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Just can't get it right

Either he's getting really strict or I have a big loose mouth. It seems no matter what I say or do lately I'm getting spanked or put in my place. Its not about going a week without getting spanked its more like trying to go a day without getting spanked or put in my place.

I have been reading around and bloggers have had an anniversary. They talk about how much has changed in the last few years since they started TTWD.  It seems for us that things haven't changed alot. Well they did the first 2yrs then the last year has been a struggle, Well the last 6 months have been rough. The closeness is there but my submission is in passing.

I have been trying harder the last few months to do better and be more submissive. Well everything came to a head a few weeks ago when I was late getting home from work and didn't call and tell him. He proceeded to tell me I haven't followed the rules in a long time.

 My answer was "Well you haven't cared or said anything so I been trucking along."

His answer "That stops today, and that's the problem if I don't say anything you just do what you want."

Well Wow he's right he's always said "If you want this in your heart then you would act like it."

Well what I want  is someone to take charge of me and MAKE ME!! OK I said it out loud.(not to him of course)  I"m an alpha lady ok!!  No No I'm not a dom I am just a strong take charge kind of gal. If there is a storm I go in and march right threw the storm and take care of it.

I don't want to be able to step over that line not one bit. Well guess what I think Tyler has realized what I need and what I want. He isn't given me an inch and while its frustrating me its also exactly what I need.

I have also learned that I need to show him more and make him feel more appreciated. I have read around and woman talk about keeping a clean house and making dinner because that's what their Hoh wants.
Well how selfish am I?  I want him to take charge and give me no lead way. He is doing what I want now I realize I need to quit worrying about what I want and do more of what he wants. I guess I've always worried about ME ME ME and not so much about him.

Well I guess we learn something new everyday and as I'm writing this I'm realizing my selfishness. When I started to write this it was going to go a different way but as I was writing I was realizing how my words were being selfish and how I need to change.

Submission is such a challenge but it is a challenge I shall meet to the highest.


This shall be my motto, I will work hard at being Submissive

I don't know anymore

I just feel exasperated anymore. Is this submission?

If I tell him how I'm feeling he tells me everything I've done wrong to get here. He sees no wrong in what he has done.

If the air conditioner is broke I get it fixed,
If the car is broke I get it fixed,
If we need money for something important like rent, car payment, etc I find the money,
If something is going on with the kids at school I have to call and take care of it,
If the kids need to go somewhere besides practice I do it.
I do all the house work, get all 3 kids up for school, cook all the dinner and make any phone calls etc that need made.
I also work 40 + hours a week and I'm pretty much in charge of a company under the owner.

What does he do? Go to work when he's not laid off and he takes the kids to practice other than that he watches tv and sleeps.

I can't keep my mouth shut, He says something I bawk back. I interrupt, I argue, I can't stop. The only difference is I don't yell like I used to.  He plainly told me last night that he runs this house and he doesn't want my input, He finally got his manhood back after I took it away for 13yrs so he doesn't want to hear anything I have to say.

He told me I was doing really good for a while then I turned back to a mouthy bratt.
I told him yes but back when I was like that we were doing maintenace and

And before I could say for almost 2yrs you let everything go he had me on my stomache over the bed spanking me hard.  I am exasperated.

He said he can't spank me all the time because we have know privacy so it allows me to act the way I want.. Hmmm funny thing is when we do need to clear the air about something and do have alone time I either have to coax him to spank me or he just lets it go.  Its funny though when he's had enough he spanks.

We have done corner time and that works. I have suggested he have me kneel instead of me doing it on my own all the time. I've tried to come up with ways and Ideas for him to keep me in submission and I get nothing!!

Maybe he's right I am to head strong to be submissive.
Maybe I'm right when I say he's not strong enough to help me!!

When I say "This is what I want
He says "If this was what was in your heart then you would want it and show it more."

Everything I write on my blog is exactly how I feel. Its not made up to be a good blog it is who I want to be. He doesn't read this so I have no reason to say things for his benefit. I just don't get it. I don't get me!! Why can't I just shut up and be the wife he wants me to be.

When we first got together and our first year of marriage I was very dependent and naturally submissive. He didn't like that so he changed me because he was afraid I couldn't take care of myself. I could though because even though I had great parents growing up they were older and tired and we took care of eachother but mostly I took care of us.  I wanted him to take care of me and he wanted me to take care of us!!

Maybe I want someone to take care of ME!! Maybe I don't want  to have to do ALL the damn work ALL the time.

I am a very strong Alpha woman (Not dom though) and I can take care of my self but I'm TIRED OF IT!!

Hell the trash doesn't get taken out side if I don't. When i ask him to help me keep up with that because it always seems they are trying to see how high they can get it.  He does help he just smashes it down. I finally take it outside to the bin and then and then you know what else?? If I don't take it to the curb then we end up with weeks worth of trash and guess what?? Can you guess?? Well I have to figure out a way to get it to the dump or call the trash people for extra trash pick up.

I just don't know anymore. Maybe I'm kidding myself, Maybe I don't want this maybe the thought of it is good and maybe I'm a spanko that just wants spanked when I want it.
Maybe he's not cut out to step up and be a caring loving husband to me.

All I know is I want peace in my house and I could have peace if I could keep my mouth shut.

Maybe he's right when he says it should say on my tombstone "Here lies Daisy who can't keep her FUCKING MOUTH SHUT!!!"

My life feels like one big horrible exasperating JOKE!!!


Maybe I should just chalk it all up to I FAILED!! I FAILED as a wife and a submissive. Its not something I can do. Maybe if I just realize that I will just move on!!

I don't know I just feel out of control and can't fix it!! Maybe that is the issue I'm used to fixing everything and not letting anyone and he's trying to fix it and I Can't let GO!! IS that the answer?

Right now he's kicked me out of the room and not to come back till I can be submissive. I'm pushed away to fix my problem!! OUR problems!!  Do I just leave him alone and continue to stay away and work on my submission till he sees changes? Can I change?

My butt aches, my heart aches and I'm at such a loss!!


                                       

Friday, October 4, 2013

Fun night and helpful friends

A few weeks ago my boys were going out for the night so I took my daughter to my moms.

I had been telling Tyler I needed a good girl spanking. Well actually he bought a new belt and was playing with me earlier smacking me with it. I was teasing because it didn't hurt like the old one.  A friend texted him and told him to make sure to use the new belt real good on me..

Then  later I was  texting my friend  Paige she had one of my boys I wanted to make sure they were going to be gone for a while. . She said "He's staying the night so spank away and  tell Tyler to give you a spanking for me, because I need one too" giggle giggle.   Geesh I have some great friends huh?? LOL

  Tyler went to drop movies off and while he was gone I got all dressed up. I put on my school girl skirt with my white knee socks, my white top and pig tails and when Tyler came home I was kneeling at the bed. I had the leather heart shaped paddle and the belt laying next to me. I had been good so I thought I was getting a good girl spanking well Tyler thought other wise he started laying into my butt with the paddle and letting me know of some issues I needed to fix!!! Well it was exactly what I needed. We finished up with some nice hot sex where I was totally dominated and love it!!.

Later Paige text and said My son and hers were whining because they wanted to come stay the night at my house. I told her it was ok we were done. she said "Good because I would be pissed for you if you weren't!!"

Lol I just want to say I love my friends they want me spanked and all sexed up on a kid less night!!

Monday, September 16, 2013

Do you really have those days and moments that it just seems well I don't know.

I have been trying really hard to go that extra mile and be submissive. I'm kneeling beside him without him asking. I make his plate etc. He has also come to a point where he's doing something to discipline me that is a fine line. (I will introduce it some other day) 

Anyway I just wonder if he really wants this or if I'm just really a spanko and he enjoys the efforts I don't know.  Ugh its soo frustrating lately because it seems I want to write and its all up there in my head. IT goes something like this

"OO I could post about that and this and o this and that,"

"I could write a story about this and that oo that's a good thought o yeah."

Then I get a free moment to write or post and This is what happens.

"                                    "    yes insert nothing there!!

Gah its like I cant explain myself.. Maybe i'm trying to candy coat it and make it look pretty and not reveal whats really going on in my head. The frustration and anger, Anger at myself, Tyler, my family. I'm Just not where I thought I'd be after 35yrs.

Our oldest will be 17 in a month and soon moving out. I just feel like I've given him nothing in the last 4yrs of his life. We have been soo freaking broke and not able to do anything

To Help The World Indeed

You ever stumble across things and it just eats you up? You ever see people writing about something that seems so magical but you know is not? Do  you just want to scream in panic and cry because you know its not magical and its not real? Its kind of like when you see a kid walking into the road and a car coming you run and jump out there not caring if you take a hit.

Well, that's what I'm doing today. I am not judging anyone because, well, I've done it. But I cant sit by and watch others be filled with dreams and hopes of something good coming. I understand everyone has their own way of life. I understand that everyone is not effected or wired the same.

When I read around blog land I see males are Doms to females, females are Dommes to males, females are Dommes to females, males are Doms to males. There are also people who switch, Doms are married but their spouse know they have platonic subs. Subs are married but know their spouse has a platonic Dom. Their are also people out there that have no platonic subs or Doms but their spouse is ok with that. Well that's ok with me. I really don't care. To each their own - whatever makes them happy.

What I'm here to talk about today is affairs. Affairs where the spouses don't have a clue that their spouse is with another man or woman. AFFAIR is a very ugly word and thing. I read around blogs and I have memory flashbacks. I was the OTHER woman!!

I wasn't a sub or we didn't do anything like this, but you know what? He said the same things to me that is being said to others. I don't want anyone to stop blogging because I make them feel bad but I do wish the affair would stop!! You're killing you!! Each day a little of you goes away till one day when you wake up their will be none of you left. Then you will have to rebuild you.

Rebuilding you is NOT fun at all!! He never promised me a future with me. As a matter of fact we both knew it was quite clear that that would NEVER happen.  However, my love and my emotions for him over grew me to where I didn't know me. I didn't know who I was or what I was doing. I was trapped inside my body looking out. Fighting for a way out and always loosing in the end.

I knocked on the wall to the world and nothing happened. I looked in the mirror only to find me gone and empty inside. Finally, one day I crawled out of myself into the world just to curl up into a ball. I had to learn how to socialize again. Stand on my own two feet. Laugh again, love again and care again. I nearly killed myself from the inside out.

I was an ugly, mean, hateful person because I was bound up inside so long. I was bound up with nowhere to go. Its only fairy tales and there's nothing left to say. I loved, I hurt, I cried, I lost, I ran, I fought, I loved again, I laughed again and I stabilized.

The affair was drama that caused PTSD!! I will never be the same. I will never be "OK" I will merely walk in victory of winning new battles everyday and conquering myself. I will never say "if only" or "what if" or "but" anymore." I will say "Look at what I have. Look at what I conquered and look at what I won."

So if you think that being the other woman or having another woman is fun? Its not!! Its a job. It is hurt. It is two lives in which one will win over someday to rebuild or self destruct will take place.


What In The World? Sub Drop? Pms? WHAT??

I shared about my spanking on Friday.. Well Saturday had me crazy

Saturday morning we woke up and were laying there talking. I had my back to him and he started spooning me. I was ordered to lock the door then take of my sweats. So we reconnected then got up  and headed to our daughters soccer game. I felt great we were running late and forgot some things at home but when we would normally be frustrated and griping at each other we weren't we were laughing.  After the game we were laughing and everything was fine. Tyler dropped me at home and went to Wal-Mart. I started cleaning my room and then it hit me!!      
What hit me? I don't know a mac truck, a black cloud no clue!!. Then I realized Aunt Flo was visiting so I thought maybe I was having weird PMS symptoms or something.
                            
                 
I just felt lonely and empty. I just wanted to cry it was getting worse and worse.  Tyler came home I told him how I felt and he gave me a hug told me maybe I was hungry.  I left the house to go get some stuff done. I had my 17yr old with me. We did some errands then got lunch. I made a big sigh and he asked what was wrong. I told him how I was feeling and I just wanted to cry. He said everyone feels that way sometimes.

Anyway I got back home Tyler was sleeping and I went up to finish my room. I started praying and crying and listening to Plums "I need you now"


Well I just couldn't shake it. I left to go do something else then text a friend and asked her what she thought I could take. She mentioned maybe I had PMDD. I went in and talked to a pharmacist and he told me to try Midol but it might not help the mood. He asked if I was feeling depressed or had anxiety. No I felt neither. I told him maybe I should just go get a shot of vodka even though I don't drink.  We both laughed and he said "Well it will at least put you to sleep."

I left there and was texting a friend and she had called her earlier because she knew I was having a rough day and I disappeared when I was praying and crying. She mentioned that maybe I was having a sub drop.  A WHAT!!! A SUB DROP!!
                                             
                                            

"Isn't that something that happens during?" I asked her

"Well I've heard it can occur a few hours or day later."

"Well if that's the case I don't like this."

We both laughed and really never came to a conclusion.

So here is a question for my wise ole blogger friends

Do you think its possible it was a sub drop? Or was it merely that aunt Flo is getting worse as I'm older?

If it was a sub drop how do I prevent it in the future?

My spanking on Friday was probably the most dramatic spanking I had in a long time if ever.  It was pretty rough, It was the first time that I really didn't hear his lecture and it left me with a ton of emotions.  I never felt so good after a spanking and so meek. I felt refreshed and fulfilled. Well after I got over being angry but the anger wasn't long.

Did we reach a different peak in a spanking that I never experienced before?

I did take the Midol and after that I felt very tired. My emotions felt better but I just felt whipped out. It felt like the day was a blur and I felt kind of loopy honestly. I thought it was the Midol that did it but on Sunday I took it and it didn't do that to me. Sunday I felt ok I just took the Midol incase my emotions were from Aunt Flo.

Maybe the spanking did totally wipe me out.  I will tell you this if it was a sub drop  I really have to figure out how to not let that happen again or a better way to deal with it.







Just FYI for those who were possibly grossed out at the fact that we had sex and Aunt Flo is here. Well she wasn't here until after we had sex. He broke the dam so to speak!! lol